Friday, July 28, 2006

know the REAL me



Yeah....you've been warned!! The things I am about to say are definately going to be huge... Some of you reading may or may not know about it... and about it being a part of my life, but reading it here will definately be shocking..


This is my chance to come out and open up about the real me. I have thought about telling more about me on here...
And I have been thinking about doing this post for about 2-3 weeks now.
And finally here it is!!

There is so much to say.... and I am not even sure where to start...

I will begin with saying why I am doing this.
This is my way of finding out who my 'real friends' are...
For me this blog has always been an expression of my true self.
I never cared about people telling me how often I changed my template, I dont think I have ever said something I did not mean.... it was never a popularity contest for me.
The bottom line... I am who I am.
I sent messages to people on my messenger list to come read this...because I do want everyone to read this.
Well, not all will. Once some of you read some of what I have to say... you might think I am insane and stupid and stop reading.
I only ask for one thing....for all that are reading at this point...to please leave a comment and tell me what your honest opinion is.
I am going to start comment moderation... So just leave a comment like it is for me. And only me. And please be honest. If you hate me...please say so.
I really dont like fake drama...so I really do not like fake 'friendships'.
At the end of your comment, tell me if you want me to put up your comment on the blog or not. And I will do just as you wish for me to. I respect your opinion and decision, no matter what it is.
Just be very honest and speak your mind.
I know there are a few people here that are still going to think of me the same regardless... and to those.... a thank you is not enough.

Allrite... So I think that covers that...

Okay if knowing what I am talking about is killing you....PATIENCE!! Im almost there!! LOL
BTW...the template is a hint!!


Recently I was talking to a friend who knows about this 'secret' and he told me that I was just crazy (not his words). That is just what drove me to write on here..

I dont need to do it... and honestly there is no real strong reason to do this...
But I do this for me...
And again...most, if not all of you'll , wont understand why I do this..
I do this for me... and for being true to myself and my blog.
This is really private information... and if you rather not know... just stop reading...
but do comment!!

Okay...it's time....
drumroll please??!!?! lol

I am a Submissive.
Keep reading to understand...
Most relationships are vanilla, but the relationship I have with my 'partner' falls under the BDSM lifestyle.
What is it? Read the link to see and understand.

But for me.... it is who I am.
In a very breif explanation... it is about the control. (for me)
There is a lot of variety to BDSM and it's just about different preferences.

For me...it's about letting Him be in control...
and no...thats not some kinda kink you take to bed... it's about things that extends waaay beyond the bedroom!
It's about obedience, respect, trust, testing your limits, punishment and pain!! (last but not the least ofcourse! )


You all have to understand how much balls it is to keep talking about this...and I have already considered deleting this post a few times... lol

I met Tom about 10 months back...
He is my boyfriend....my Master...
He is much older than me....how old? Maybe we will talk about that stuff in another post! lol
I love him for who he is...

Our relationship is very salt-n-pepper-ish.

The pepper is all the spice associated with the lifestyle. The salt...the vanilla stuff.
We have a lot of vanilla-ish days....but with the always there hints of pepper here n there.
The hints of pepper....thats where the obedience and respect comes in place!

So anyways...

Now that you know what the 'secret' is....
Back to what I am writing for..

Like I said before I was driven to write about this when I was called to be crazy.
That was his reaction to the information about the lifestyle in general...
And that just wasnt cool.

I understand that BDSM is far from what society has called 'normal.'

To get my point across...let me give you another example.
For those in India... Americans have an accent. When I moved here, I had a hard time trying to understand that accent!
For those in America... Indians have an accent. When they call companies that have offices and call centers in India, they have a hard time understanding the person on the other end.
To Americans their way of talking is 'normal' and the same for Indians.

Now .... are you willing to change your 'accent' and talk like they do? Are you willing to spell color/colour as color just because they do?
Most importantly... are you willing to accept that their way of talking is the RIGHT way??

What is right?
That is just a personal opinion...especially when there is no real right or wrong.

So I was called crazy for actually being serious about the lifestyle and giving it more importance than something that happens in the bedroom.

Once you know more about it...if you choose to... you will understand that friend's part in calling it 'weird'
I understand why people respond to the lifestyle like that.
Its different....very different.
but what I do is my business.
I am not walking around saying that everyone should pick either a submissive or Dominant role and be a part of the lifestyle.
And likewise... I would respect others not to do so either.

What is normal...what is right... I think is one's choice...
and it should be nothing but it..

I really dont care about what people think of me..
I wouldnt have done this post if I did...
I believe in honesty and like I said,... fakeness just drives me insane.


So there you have it..
I have said what I wanted to

I have tried to stay away from providing specifics that would just be too much information!
And Im sorry if I said things you didnt want to hear...

Anyways, I am running out of things to say!
So please do comment!
Thanks!