My Ramblings

Weirdness Returns

2007-08-16T21:11:00.000-04:00

Yes....it is back to being strange and weird....
Not just with one thing in particular....just everything on a whole...
Tom is busy with things at his end...and we haven't talked in a while....
And no it's not like we haven't talked at all..... we do talk...but a few minutes here and there.... but I am used to spending hours and hours talking to him....
Oh well...I better get used to the not talking....he stars work...and with his night work schedule and the 3 hr time difference we will go on our 'weekend schedule'....where we will probably get time to talk only on the weekend!
So yeah...good times eh!?!?!

Then in the past few days a friend at work has gotten into some legal crap.... and I am so worried about him.
And he didn't even do anything wrong... just a bunch of guys being stupid but he didn't do anything wrong...but isn't opening his mouth.... just as a way to protect his friend.
I wasn't even sure if there were people like that who really existed any more...
Anyways....so that's on my mind....

I am no fun when I have several things on my mind....
And then speaking of work...this one guy I am supposed to do the accounting for has been really been getting on my last nerves...his work is such a shit load...and if I find some shit myself (and doing my job) he seems to hate me more....
It stinks when we feel so much negativity from one person towards you....I could give examples to make a point but he has really tested my patience and tolerance in the past few months....
I HATE his guts....I really do
Oh well... if this keeps going on I said to myself I would be asked to be moved to another group. I wouldn't 'give up' and pass on this if it wasn't affecting me this way.... I always said that I wanted to do something that I can just leave behind when I go home... but this whole situation with him just makes me very mad.
Whatever....feels good to just talk abt this shit....

And then I have this new thing bothering me today....
My ex contacted me today....the one that I thought I was madly in love with.... I never had my peace with the way things ended.... there was no explanation...no conversation... it just happened... It was weird.... I was ignored...lol
And it was worse cause I was led on to believe there was something serious between us....
He talked to me abt marriage... he brought it up! Now that is just weird... why would a guy do that if he didn't care.... or maybe he was a big time player and it was just a big game for him.....
I would like to just know why...or what...or if it was ever real....
I just wanna finally put it behind me....His good friend is also a very good friend of mine... And it would be nice to just go to being friends...and not have it so that H (our common friend) can't mention A (my ex) without it being weird for me...
Anyways...he contacted me on Orkut (where I am met such long lost friends...love that site!) and then emailed me.... asking for my phone number...and i just ignored that at first....didnt think us exchanging phone numbers is a good idea...but then he asked 2 more times...and I didn't want him to think im not over him...so I just gave it to him.... Am I over him? Yes... I don't really have feelings for him any more... I don't regret anything that happened...but I just want to know what happened....what caused the movement from the perception of being in love to being completely deserted....Or if there was some reason and/or explanation to it....Don't think it's too much to ask for...
And I don't know if that will be answered or not....it's just been so damn long....Last time I saw him was like 5-6 years back....Maybe things are better left unanswered....

I wouldn't think I would ever be in contact with him again....
I remember him.... I wonder what he might look like now....
Why?
Feelings are just messed up sometimes....

Update...
did this stupid palm reading thing online...look at wat it said...

"A palmist would say that you will be married multiple times or have several committed relationships that do not lead to marriage. It will be up to you at some point to make a decision that will either drive you toward or away from each of these relationships. A palmist would say that you will have the opportunity to have at least one child, probably including a girl. The decision to embrace this opportunity to bring children into your life is yours."

haha thats too funny. married multiple times...great!!

link here

Missing Him Again

2007-07-18T22:47:00.000-04:00

I have tried to write just the perfect post to write about Tom's visit, but it's hard to find the right words.

His trip was just so wonderful..... We get to spend most our time together across the computer screen ... and being together - really physically being together, means so much!

We weren't sure about how it would go....we hadn't spend all this time together before...and we were just hoping everything would work out ok. And it was more than just okay.... it was just perfect.

We got to do so many things together....
We did some local site seeing, we went to the movies, we went up to the mountains for a little visit, and in all we got to send a lot of time together!

The mountain trip was just wonderful.... we visited the Great Smoky National Park and drove through the Blue Ridge Parkway.
The view was just wonderful....
I am attaching some pics he took....

These are close to the highest point in the Smoky Mountains.

And here is a little view of the sunset.... we drove past this other place that had a much better view... but I think this pic is good too.

When we were not visiting places we just spent time with each others... it was great to be able to just hold him and hug him. He is just such a cute teddy bear! lol
Going to the movies with him was very fun and special too.

Apart from traveling and site seeing we also spent a lot of quiet time...This one day we went to a lake near where I live and spend some alone time just talking....
We talked about so many different things.... from the future....to our interests...to things we both enjoy doing....

It was great that we almost always had things to say ... in a few ways maybe we didn't know what to expect....

The things I say here probably sound redundant... but I can't say enough what a wonderful time it was.
I love him so so much.... And I am so lucky to have him in my life....he takes care of me...he looks out for me... he treats me like a gem and makes me feel so special and beautiful.
Obviously, I am one lucky girl...!!!

I miss him so much now.... I sobbed when I had to say goodbye... it was a lot lot harder than last time....

I still miss him being around the house.... I miss sharing my bed with him...I miss waking up to him by my side...I miss making breakfast for him...and so many more things....
I just miss starting and ending the day with him...

This whole thing has just made our relationship so much stronger and just so solid and REAL.
Hopefully next time I see him will be my going to CA! But that's still a little while away!

Everything was just right....It's great to feel completely in love!

20 hrs .....

2007-07-11T17:58:00.001-04:00

about 20 more hours to go....
million things left to do.....

I am soooooooo happy!!! and excieted!!! YAAAAY!
okay.... i gotta go and get some work done....

cya guys!!!

9 More Days

2007-07-03T18:11:00.000-04:00

Yes...In 9 days I should be sharing this couch that I am sitting on with my dearest!

The days have been nearing so quick...work has been so busy I have had no time to think about things.
He will be here before I know it....so I am EXCITED!!

I don't have much to say....just am eager and anxious.

:-)

Another Year Older....

2007-06-14T18:47:00.001-04:00

Blah.... I hate birthdays... All you do is eat and drink more than usual and it usually isn't even worth it!!
BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH....

23....which is still really young.... and I kinda wish I was older.... but I should be out parting and getting wasted...and not home watching TV.

I know you wish you could be me!!

Whatever....good thing the weekends almost here....get to chill with family and friends!

Happy Birthday to me.

More Drawings!!

2007-05-31T19:44:00.001-04:00

YAAAAY ... More drawings....

LOL... This time I just came home early from work and was like...what the heck...

This picture is horrible.. Lost my camera at this wedding we went to few weeks back...so I used my webcam to capture this image...
Comment please!!!

I already got a suggestion on this pic from my darling....he said that this girl should have longer hair!
He is nut about long hair!! haha...
So that will be changes to come...He wants her hair to be all the way down to her ass....

So...I might just do that...afterall....he makes the rules!!
(If you don't know what I am talking about....look at my post from 7/28/06).

Sorry about the template.... I didn't wanna change it but seems like it is this new blogger crap...
Oh well...So I lost all my links...
I just updated to one of their default ones without copy pasting the links..dumbass move....

So if you are gonna leave a comment...please make sure to add your website!!!

Thanks!
Have a good weekend!!!

P.S. This image came about by looking at the image HERE
I am not a point where I can draw without having something to look at!!

UPDATE....
Notes so far on possible changes.....

Kiss

2007-05-26T01:06:00.000-04:00

This picture deserves two things right now...
(1) a few more visits to make some changes to it....I see flaws/room for improvement
(besides a drawing is NEVER perfect)
(2) A poem made specially for this picture.... this should be enough of an inspiration for some sensual lines!

I should be drawing more couples in the heat!! Maybe next time a lil provocative!! ;-)

Fucked Up

2007-05-18T00:27:00.000-04:00

Life is so fucking amazing.... and no...this isn't a positive statement....

The past week has been absolutely fucked up...
Went to one of my cousins wedding last weekend....the wedding was wasn't bad.... I just don't like the whole wedding thing...so damn long and boring....
As if it couldn't get any worse....another cousin of mine had seizures at the wedding!!!! AT THE WEDDING... scary shit. I dunno whats wrong with him but apparently it has been happening for the past 2 years...it was one of the scariest thing I have ever seen.... Or so I thought....

Monday I got into a car accident.. I am fine....just pulled a few muscles in my back and shoulders and stuff... but my car is fucked up... and you know what really sucks... it wasn't my damn fault... I was just driving straight and this guy came into my lane out of no where... I was so scared and terrified..
Right after it happened I knew I should be making calls ...b ut I didn't know what to do...I just sat there.... my hands were shaking... I couldn't think...
I just waited until the cops came and then called my dad.

No matter how big or small...a car accident has gotta be one of the most scariest things....
I've gone from looking for an excuse to drive to finding a way to drive as less as I possibly can....
I am driving a rental right now... and it just pissed me off. It's not fair...it's not cool.

Lost Without You

2007-05-02T21:27:00.000-04:00

Lost Without You lyrics by Robin Thicke.

I’m lost without u
Can’t help myself
How does it feel
To know that I love u baby
I’m lost without u
Can’t help myself
How does it feel
To know that I love u baby
Tell me how u love me more
And how u think I’m sexy baby
That u don’t want nobody else
U don’t want this guy u don’t want that guy u wanna
Touch yourself when u see me
Tell me how u love my body
And how I make u feel baby
U wanna roll with me u wanna hold with me
U wanna stay warm and get out of the cold with me
I just love 2 hear u say it
It makes a man feel good baby
Tell me u depend on me
I need To hear it
I’m lost without u
Can’t help myself
How does it feel
To know that I love u baby
I’m lost without u
Can’t help myself
How does it feel
To know that I love u baby
Baby you’re the perfect shape
Baby you’re the perfect weight
Treat me like my birthday
I want it this way I want it that way I want it
Tell me u don’t want me To stop
Tell me it would break your heart
[ these lyrics found on http://www.completealbumlyrics.com ]
That u love me and all my dirty
U wanna roll with me u wanna hold with me
U wanna make fires and get Norwegian wood with me
I just love To hear u say it
It makes a man feel good baby
I’m lost without u
Can’t help myself
How does it feel
I’m lost without u
Can’t help myself
How does it feel
To know that I love u baby
'Cos you may tell me every morning
Ooooooh Alright babe
Aaah yeah
Oh baby
Oh Darling
Ahh yeah
I’m lost without u
Can’t help myself
How does it feel
To know that I love u baby
I’m lost without u
Can’t help myself
How does it feel
To know that I love u baby
Ooooh Yeah
Oh baby
Oh darling
Ah yeah. Right
Oh baby
Oh darling
Oooh Hoo baby.
All right, right right

This song is so hot and sexy.... with just the right amount of lovey-dovey factor and nasty factor...
But....an ugly looking guy could ruin this song...

Look at the video HERE
His voice already is a little bit on the girlie side...and I see him and I am surprised how he has any facial hair...
He just performed live on American Idol and it was just gag-worthy!

Argh!

Anyways... this are still kinda weird with Tom.... we had a huge fight Saturday... so big I had to send him an offline Sunday saying the scary words.... "We need to talk!"

Oh well....we made up :-) We fight about little things every now and then!!!

He is gonna make final plans about visiting soon....he is now thinking of July...
Will see how that goes.
Work is SUPER busy;....I promise to start reading blogs next week.
If not next week its cause I am going to a wedding...
lol... not making excuses... laying out the facts!

Keep reading! TC!

The Bad Times Seem To Be Back

2007-04-20T00:25:00.000-04:00

Things seem to be back at being rough again....
Last weekend Tom told me that his trip might be getting cancelled/postponed.
It's a long story why it isn't happening and I don't even really want to talk about it...
It's just a mixture of feelings...I understand...but I am also sad and angry.... Yes, I am being selfish but I can't help it...It just sucks more cause we had been planning the trip for so long now...
I miss him so damn much...
He is angry about it too...and on top of that he has no internet access this week...so not only have I not really talked to him...the last time we talked we didn't really end it at a happy note...

It's just not fucking fair...

I haven't really said much on our non-vanilla blog (not sure if I mentioned that on here on not...)
I don't want to be selfish...but I am....
I meant to write here earlier this week...but I just didn't know what to say...

Today I happen to go to a non-vanilla friend's blog and I read that her Master passed away not too long ago....
I can't even imagine what that would feel like...
I am not sure how I would be able to survive the loss of someone so close and dear to your heart....

It's just so hard... And I feel so sorry for her.......

It's amazing how quickly things can change...

Crappy Week

2007-04-06T17:54:00.000-04:00

I think this week has just been stressful.

I got sick last Friday and then it just got worse Sunday and Monday. I had to call in sick at work on Tuesday and visited a doc on Wed.
Apparently I was suffering from pollen allergies and also had a sinus infection.
Trust me...it isn't fun!
About 6.5 yrs back when I moved to the states I thought it was ridiculous how the Americans complained about allergies and all those things relating them. They always had a long list of things they were allergic to, and it was always amusing.
And now...here I am, suffering from pollen allergies and now I understand where they come from.
It's not fun when you have a runny nose and sharp pain only in a certain spot on your head,...AND on top of that everyone at work things you are supercontagious and doesn't want anything to do with you.
Okay...maybe it's not that extreme..but people definately think they will catch something even if they spend a few seconds around you...
Come on...it's alllergies... I ain't no doctor...but I don't think I can pass on my allergies to someoene....please correct me if I am wrong!!

Anyways...yes, now I am one of them.
So I was super sick Tuesday thru Thursday.
My darling Tommy kept calling me every now and then and kept checking on me...which was so cute!! lol. sorry...helpless romantic. I know!!
Anyways...
So then today my manager was just being a bitch and complaing and a whole bunch of crap that I don't wanna talk about and at the end of the day I was just tired...
So while I was driving back home from work I thought today woiuld be a good day to get drunk...

Now at first I thought about going for the regular Smirnoff Ice that becomes my 'comfort' giver after a crazy day at work.,..But this wasn't a crazy day at work...It was a nasty week... I thought I would go for something that would positively give me more of a buzz than the usual....
So I grabbed the Sierra Nevada Beer...

I am definately not a beer person...but this isn't any beer.. Or so was I told by my dear boyfriend. He loves this beer...and I thought what the heck... I wanna get drunk... and this just might do the trick..
Okay...so I tried it...and this thing is just plain NASTY...
it smells disgusting and it tastes disgusting...
There is no way I am drinking that... 2 sips of it was enough to make me feel absolutely disgusted... and now I am too lazy to go and get me something else...
So not only was it $8 gone to waste.... I can't (won't) even get drunk now!!!

Wonderful week!!!

Come back...

2007-03-28T21:12:00.000-04:00

Hey guys!!
I have officially run out of excuses to not putting an update on here...
Yes, I have been extremely busy with everything that has been going on with me...but I also have honestly lacked any real enthusiasm to get on here and put updates...
Most people (what I have heard) don't even do the blogging thing any more...

I guess some people got themselves lives outside the online world...I know I did!

Anyways....on to the update...
There has been so much going on and I dunno where to start... and I am also very likely to forget to say things I know I want to say...
oh well...

Let's start with something that has been keeping me most busy...
And it has been work...
For those that don't know...I absolutely hated school. I did not like my classes and I was convinced that I had picked a wrong major...
Fortunately, that has all changed. I still think I hated my classes....but working is so much different... I wasn't sure if I had wasted the past 4 years of my life earning an education I wouldnt be able to stick to as a profession.
Like I said... this are different...
Accounting makes sense and it is kinda coool... and please... no I am not a nerd! And I still hate taxes...but I love my job and maybe that's whats made accounting more sensible...
I won't bore anyone with the details, but the things are great at work..
It was worth all the 4 months of job hunting that seemed to be going no where at the time.

I am also at a point where I love living alone... It isn't all that lonely and boring any more...
So life is good :-)

AND now...life gets better with my next topic...

Tom.... Yes.... we are still together!
We have actually been through a lot of ups and downs...when I moved we kinda took a step back... a tiny step back.. It was hard to find time to talk...
and ofcourse, that greatly affected us....
But...we have made it through it...
We survived on occasional phone calls and chats...

Things kinda changed a few weeks back and he has just become so open and a little less concerned about reality...
He worries too much (I think)... and I guess I finially convinced him (a little bit, not completely) that we should just live in the moment and not worry about the future because we obviously don't know what is going to happen..
Anyways, he has just changed a lot...
And the change has also brought about an upcoming trip!!
We are currently almost ready to finalize a trip he is planning to come visit me!!

So basically our relationship is definately at the best it has ever been at before. I am more in love with him today, than I have ever been before...
He will probably spend a week or so with me and we are also planning a road trip.

This is all good and I can't be happier!!

I wanted to take this time to thank everyone that has been so supportive of all the things I have said on this blog.
I have recieved a lot of positive and negative responses...but more positive than negative. And that is such a good feeling.
I know this could be a strange concept to many.... but you have to understand it's a personal choice.

I have seen 'friends' acting strange over this whole topic... and my friends are entitled to their own personal opinions as long as they don't see me as a different person.
It is my friends that accept me for who I am... and my 'friends' that just ignore me.

And that is fine... I will take friends over 'friends' any day!!
So thank you all again for all your support...I am comfortable with what I have chosen...so I do not need any fake support. Save yourself the energy...but I absolutely am not going to listen to any crap from a person that is going to force their opinion on me.

I am not here trying to get hundreds and thousands of hits on my blog... I am way beyond that!!

Anyways...I'm done with my attitude talk!!

And finally, one last thing I wanted to say....
When I decieded to go ahead and do an update, the first thing I started to do was.... looking for new templates...
I love change and those that have been around this blog long enough, have seen me change templates a couple of times.
I looked and looked and I just couldn't find the right thing...
And then I thought about a comment a fellow blogger said about this template being so me..
And that is true...it is me...So I am sticking to it!!
Thank you Mr. Clueless!!! :-)
Anyways...don't be surprised if I end up changing the template down the road...but it's good for now.

I'm done yapping...
Thanks for reading...I promise to be regular on here from now..
Will get to some reading early next week.

The Golden Sin

2006-12-13T21:16:00.000-05:00

Yes.... as you saw in one of the comments from mr. clueless in my previous post.... he asked to know some more about the 'eternal sin'

Most of y'all know me fairly well by now...and I thrive for anything juicy and raunchy...
But patience grasshoppers....

First... a general update.
First of all...really really... i really thank you all for stopping by and leaving a comment. i barely visit my own blog...
The new job is great...the people are nice... (most of them atleast!)... Things are just extremely busy... And my energy level is at an all time low...
I can barely stay up past 10pm...
Gone are the days when I could survive on 3-4 hrs of sleep...
Most of time goes with work and surrounding work... and the rest of my time watching TV and thinking of my beloved in California...

Needless to say...the job and my lack of ability to stay up until the wee hours of the morning, has greatly influenced me and Tom...
we barely get to talk..
It is almost at the point where we talk only once a week.... it's a good couple hr long conversation...
Otherwise I try to squeeze a phonecall or two..and whenever I do get a chance to call him I end up waking him up!
But he has said that I have special rights and can call him any time!
:-)
He is a darling...

Since moving out and since I started working... things have been up and down for us... We have had a few arguments about things that now seem stupid and meaningless...
But we are sailing strong...
I have never loved anyone as much as I love him... and most importantly I think he is among the few people that truely care about me.
:-)

And yes... now to the juicy stuff...
LOL unfortunately there isn't really much to say when it comes to me... since we don't talk much... I say that we have become the somewhat vanilla couple...
I don't think we can ever be completely vanilla... the lifestyle that I talked about in my big reveal post is a big part of who we both are...

BUT.... I still have something to say about it....

Tom told me about this movie called 'The Secretary' a few times before...
And some time back I actually got to see the movie...

It is a very interesting... at times weird... but very amazing...
It is a little glimpse of the lifestyle...
And for those that are somewhat intrigued and interested in BDSM or even in what I mentioned about it.... I would really recommend checking out this movie...
Starring James Spader and Maggie Gyllenhaal... this movie started out as being so weird...and then ended so beautifully...
It kinda shows how real this lifestyle can be...
It brings out the darkside...and the darkest parts of the darkside...

It is a beautiful love story...

I don't want to give too much away...
I thought the movie was absolutely pointless until half way through...
But now... I absolutely love it...

Here I am going to add a clip promoting the movie...It is long...but I would check it out if I were you....
Hope you guys like it!

Let me know what you think...

I will try to get more into blogging and post more...and catch up on all your blogs!
Take care all!
Miss you guys!

After A Long Time Again

2006-11-26T00:03:00.000-05:00

It's always nice to see your nice comments on my blog...thanks to all your comments and returning visits.
Things are just fine with me...
Just extremely busy... that is the easiest way to sum up the past few months!

Again, thank you all for your good wishes!

Will write later,
Take Care
~Bhumi

MY LOVE

2006-10-22T01:42:00.000-04:00

OK do me a favor and if you see the video playing...skip about the first minute and a half and enjoy GOOD MUSIC!
PS - CRANK UP THE VOLUME!
I am soo damn addicted to this song by Justin Timberlake ft. TI

CLICK HERE for the lyrics...tooo damn fucking good...
my goal is to atleast get one more person obsessed with this song..
lol
anyone wanna join hte club?? jk!

Not in a mood to write more...
Job and everything is going on fine...
I still dont have internet...but hopefully I'll be getting it soon...

*fingers crossed*

And Another Update!!

2006-09-18T16:30:00.000-04:00

Allright...another update time.
First of all...I am sorry I have not replied to the comments in the previous posts. I really appreciate you all dropping by and saying things!!

So... the past 2 weeks have been really busy and hectic. It was non stop interviews and more long drives.
But... it was all worth it. The good news... I FINALLY did get an offer which I have accepted!
It's a 2.5 hr drive from home... so that means I need to go apartment hunting.

I have been packing and shopping for the new place...and I am already sure I am going to forget a bunch of things!!

It's too much to do.. and I only have about a week and a half.

Hope you all are well.
I better go do some more packing!!
Will keep things updated here!

Another Update

2006-09-05T22:11:00.000-04:00

I have been so bad with this blog... I actually managed to forget the blogger ID.
I just did some more guess work and came here! thank god!

So...okay update time...
I have been getting a few offers but I am just waiting for the right opportunity right now.
So I am still very jobless...
lol

Things have been rather stressful and busy...
I have driven 100s of miles for interviews...300 miles for one...
And I can say a few things about that....
1) I am so glad I dont have a speeding ticket...kinda surprised too.
2) However I did manage to get another stupid traffic violation charge for which they want me to pay $360. Aint happening!! I am going to court for that.
Should be fun to go to court eh?!?!3) I was wonderfully entertained during my drives alone in the car... I have a huge collection of burnt CDs (in my car!) and I am proud to say that I went thru most of them (except the really stupid and annoying ones)!!!
My standard reaction...'Oh my god I havn't heard that song in forever!!'

Yeah!! lol

So what is everyone else upto?
Okay if everyone read the post about the 'Real Me' ..then I should say that Tom's and mine one year anniversary is comming up!!!
Here is the funny part....we dont really know the date we first talked. We do have a rough idea...and I think we are going to approximate it to the 21st or 20th. lol. it doesnt matter what exact date it was...an appriximate is good enough! lol
I am going to TRY to write a poem... I will have it up here if I do it.

And oh wanna hear something funny...
My parents sat me down and told me that I should start looking at guys and be serious about marriage!!
They said 22 is old enough...and I agreed...for like 50 years ago!!
So yeah... I cant possibly tell them about Tom... not yet!
So now I am seriously considering telling them that I am a lesbian. I think that by knowing that...they might get off my back. But then also if I think about it...that might give them a reason to get me married quicker.
So yeah...dunno what to do. Do you think I should bring home a fake girlfriend?
lol
I need help with this... make me some suggestions please!!
I think my parents head is still stuck a few yrs back...even my friends in India havnt started looking at guys!!
RIDICULOUS!

So yeah....that's about it...
And ohh...
BTW... I am going to go buy some art supplies tommorow!! YAY!!
I really wanna draw...it's high time.
Hopefully I iwll have something soon!

take care everyone!

Update

2006-08-17T16:03:00.000-04:00

Hello people...
Allrite so here is a quick update...
Things are going good with me and the job hunt... I have stacks of faxes sent, emails sent and all the fun job hunting things.
Good thing I havnt had to lick stamps! lol

Anyways... This could be my new home.. I could be moving to another state for this job situation.
Its excieting... and I really dont know what is going to happen and when... and I kinda like it that way! more fun!
The not so fun part.... i am most probably not gonna have internet where i live (which even i dont know where i will be)
So it means internet time only when I am at work!
great huh?
i am NOT happy about that... but hey i guess its part of the package!
shall let u know once i know more about what it is that is going to happen
everyone taek care...and thanks for stopping by!!

Taggie

2006-08-11T01:14:00.000-04:00

Hello everyone... Thanks a bunch to all those that responded to my last post... THANK YOU VERY MUCH for all the kind words. I am so glad there are people that can understand me and accept me the way I am.
(That thing was not supposed to be bold...but Blogger is acting like a bitch!)
I have just been busy with a lot of things on my hand... so that's why I have not been able to read anyone's blog..
Sorry about that!!
Shall catch up soon!!

Anyways...after being told several times to do this taggie...I finally did it. (Are you happy now Anjan? lol jk!)
Hope everyone is well...Take care everyone!

1. Were you named after anyone?
not a person...
2. Do you wish on stars?
Actually I used to when I was younger...not any more!
3. When did you last cry?
Wednesday night/Thursday morning
4. Do you like your handwriting?
I do when I do write neatly....most of the times its a race against time...so I dont usually like it.
5. What is your favourite meat?
lol....im a Veggie.
6. What is your most embarrassing CD on your shelf?
hmmm... some country music person... (it was a gift)
7. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you?
lol hells no
8. Are you a daredevil ?
I try to be...
9. How do you release anger?
Working out, crying, cursing a LOT (lol), hmm just anything to get my mind off the topic.
10. Where is your second home?
hmm... India
11. Do you trust others easily?
Yep...definately so
12. What was your favourite toy(s) as a child?
I used to love playing with Lego...it was always fun... I would still play with them if I had em!
13. What class in school/college do you think is totally useless?
Half of the things you learn are useless....
14. Do you use sarcasm a lot?
do i?
15. Have you ever been in a mosh pit?
not really... i freak out at the sight of too many ppl or too much noise... always used to suck to travel in trains when I was in India!
16. What do you look for in a girl?
Well I look for guys... and what I look for guys... has to be taller than me (or close), funny, easy-going, not money driven.
17. Would you bungee jump?
yep...i wanna. but im really a wuss...so i guess i dunno
18. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?
if they are new...then I would during the first week or so. Not otherwise.
19. What's your favourite ice cream?
mint chocolate chip, chocolate chip, and any kinda KULFI ...mmmmm good stuff
20. What are your favourite colours?
Black, blue, some white
21. What are your least favourite things?
greedy/selfish behavior, cockiness,
22. How many people do you have a crush on right now?
lol none
23. Who do you miss most right now?
Ma bf
24. What are you listening to right now?
keyboard clickin n the fan
25. If you were a crayon, what colour would you be?
purple
26. What is the weather like right now?
cool since its the middle of the night
27. Last person you talked to on the phone?
my sis
28. The "first" thing you notice about the opposite sex?
height, hair, smile, hands (i have this thing abt nice lookin hands...)
29. Do you like the person who sent you this?
I love Anjan!!
30. How are you today?
Yucky... still havnt had a bath
31. Favourite non alcoholic drink?
water... gotta love water
32. Favourite alcoholic drink?
screwdrivers
33. Natural hair colour?
Black
34. Eye colour?
black..or dark brown??
35. Wear contacts?
yep
36. Siblings?
a younger sis
37. Favourite month?
hmmm i duno...June maybe
38. Favourite food?
a lil bit of everything
39. Favourite day of the year?
too many to pick from
40. Have you ever been too shy to ask someone out?
heh yeah!
41. Scary movies or happy endings?
happy endings
42. Summer or winter?
fall and spring. lol i dont like extremes
43. Holi or Diwali?
diwali...minus the fireworks... the smoke makes me sick
44. Do you like your name?
yeah sure i guess
45. What book/magazine are you reading?
Accounting for Dummies
46. What's on your mouse pad?
no mouse pad...usin a laptop
47. What did you watch on TV last night?
I saw Primetime - Medical Mysteries
48. Favourite Smell ?
many diff things... if i had to pick one...lavendar
49. Have you ever regretted breaking up with someone?
Yes i used to...not any more...not even for an itsy bitsy second!
50. Most tiresome thing you’ve ever experienced/done?
volunteering for habitat for humanity... trying to build a home... too much work...

UPDATE - I am going out of town for a week or so... so that's the explanation for my absence... everyone take care!!

know the REAL me

2006-07-28T02:55:00.000-04:00

Yeah....you've been warned!! The things I am about to say are definately going to be huge... Some of you reading may or may not know about it... and about it being a part of my life, but reading it here will definately be shocking..

This is my chance to come out and open up about the real me. I have thought about telling more about me on here...
And I have been thinking about doing this post for about 2-3 weeks now.
And finally here it is!!

There is so much to say.... and I am not even sure where to start...

I will begin with saying why I am doing this.
This is my way of finding out who my 'real friends' are...
For me this blog has always been an expression of my true self.
I never cared about people telling me how often I changed my template, I dont think I have ever said something I did not mean.... it was never a popularity contest for me.
The bottom line... I am who I am.
I sent messages to people on my messenger list to come read this...because I do want everyone to read this.
Well, not all will. Once some of you read some of what I have to say... you might think I am insane and stupid and stop reading.
I only ask for one thing....for all that are reading at this point...to please leave a comment and tell me what your honest opinion is.
I am going to start comment moderation... So just leave a comment like it is for me. And only me. And please be honest. If you hate me...please say so.
I really dont like fake drama...so I really do not like fake 'friendships'.
At the end of your comment, tell me if you want me to put up your comment on the blog or not. And I will do just as you wish for me to. I respect your opinion and decision, no matter what it is.
Just be very honest and speak your mind.
I know there are a few people here that are still going to think of me the same regardless... and to those.... a thank you is not enough.

Allrite... So I think that covers that...

Okay if knowing what I am talking about is killing you....PATIENCE!! Im almost there!! LOL
BTW...the template is a hint!!

Recently I was talking to a friend who knows about this 'secret' and he told me that I was just crazy (not his words). That is just what drove me to write on here..

I dont need to do it... and honestly there is no real strong reason to do this...
But I do this for me...
And again...most, if not all of you'll , wont understand why I do this..
I do this for me... and for being true to myself and my blog.
This is really private information... and if you rather not know... just stop reading...
but do comment!!

Okay...it's time....
drumroll please??!!?! lol

I am a Submissive.
Keep reading to understand...
Most relationships are vanilla, but the relationship I have with my 'partner' falls under the BDSM lifestyle.
What is it? Read the link to see and understand.

But for me.... it is who I am.
In a very breif explanation... it is about the control. (for me)
There is a lot of variety to BDSM and it's just about different preferences.

For me...it's about letting Him be in control...
and no...thats not some kinda kink you take to bed... it's about things that extends waaay beyond the bedroom!
It's about obedience, respect, trust, testing your limits, punishment and pain!! (last but not the least ofcourse! )

You all have to understand how much balls it is to keep talking about this...and I have already considered deleting this post a few times... lol

I met Tom about 10 months back...
He is my boyfriend....my Master...
He is much older than me....how old? Maybe we will talk about that stuff in another post! lol
I love him for who he is...

Our relationship is very salt-n-pepper-ish.

The pepper is all the spice associated with the lifestyle. The salt...the vanilla stuff.
We have a lot of vanilla-ish days....but with the always there hints of pepper here n there.
The hints of pepper....thats where the obedience and respect comes in place!

So anyways...

Now that you know what the 'secret' is....
Back to what I am writing for..

Like I said before I was driven to write about this when I was called to be crazy.
That was his reaction to the information about the lifestyle in general...
And that just wasnt cool.

I understand that BDSM is far from what society has called 'normal.'

To get my point across...let me give you another example.
For those in India... Americans have an accent. When I moved here, I had a hard time trying to understand that accent!
For those in America... Indians have an accent. When they call companies that have offices and call centers in India, they have a hard time understanding the person on the other end.
To Americans their way of talking is 'normal' and the same for Indians.

Now .... are you willing to change your 'accent' and talk like they do? Are you willing to spell color/colour as color just because they do?
Most importantly... are you willing to accept that their way of talking is the RIGHT way??

What is right?
That is just a personal opinion...especially when there is no real right or wrong.

So I was called crazy for actually being serious about the lifestyle and giving it more importance than something that happens in the bedroom.

Once you know more about it...if you choose to... you will understand that friend's part in calling it 'weird'
I understand why people respond to the lifestyle like that.
Its different....very different.
but what I do is my business.
I am not walking around saying that everyone should pick either a submissive or Dominant role and be a part of the lifestyle.
And likewise... I would respect others not to do so either.

What is normal...what is right... I think is one's choice...
and it should be nothing but it..

I really dont care about what people think of me..
I wouldnt have done this post if I did...
I believe in honesty and like I said,... fakeness just drives me insane.

So there you have it..
I have said what I wanted to

I have tried to stay away from providing specifics that would just be too much information!
And Im sorry if I said things you didnt want to hear...

Anyways, I am running out of things to say!
So please do comment!
Thanks!

And again....

2006-06-24T00:42:00.000-04:00

And again.... what?

Well, first of all... a Happy Birthday to Mr Clueless!
Happy Birthday!
Hope you have a wonderful day and a wonderful life ahead!

I am sorry I am kinda running low on the right words...so I will just keep it plain and simple..
(that too a once again kinda situation!)

What else?
Ahh another good bye coming up... no no not good bye to the blog.
To that special someone... who has been visiting this week, and has made life more beautiful and meaningful.
I came across this video below and absolutely fell in love with it....
And I guess with the video I am gonna say something that I have said before (again...)
Say what?
Life is short... speak your mind. And let the ones you love and care about know how much you love and/or care about them. Because you never know if or when you will get another chance.

Sorry for not replying to comments! Will do that later!

******VIDEO REMOVED!! ********

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok
But that's not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin' to do

It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' It
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

Not seeing that loving you
That's what I was trying to do

Lyrics from HERE.

Happy Birthday!!!

2006-06-17T23:44:00.000-04:00

I love June....!!!
Time has been flying like crazy!!!
Before we will know it....June will be gone..
I can't believe I have been in the US for almost 6 years now!

I think it was into my first year when I met my fellow Gemini friend.
I believe it was when she walked into my US History class...
I remember thinking... 'Oh another FOB'
LOL
There are a lot of things I can think of when I think of you...
High School times, the drives to our college, the talks about our boyfriends, and oh the talks of running away from home...

Ok ok...it wasnt actually talks about running from home... but it was the feeling of it...

But whatever it is... It has been so wonderful knowing you Kaush
I have written so many birthday wishes posts... I feel like I am getting bad at them!
But this one is different....
Because I can actually say that I know you!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GIRL!
Hope you have a wonderful day... and a great fulfilling life ahead!
I was about to say that may all your dreams come true.... but I think I will refrain from that...cause we all know we have some dreams that we would not want to be true!! lol jk!

You have been a great friend...thanks for the times you helped me and gave me great advice..
(even though I might have ignored you! lol)

And most importantly... thanks for pushing me into this world of blogging! I have met wonderful people in this high-tech world because of you!
Love ya.
Happy Birthday again!

Update on me....
Welcome the new template!
I just needed a change.... And this one just stuck out....
I dunno why...oh wells... I like it...
Have been busy... and sick. the damn irritation in the throat just wont go away!!
and it should,.....
i shall be meeting him in about 18 hours....
i am nervous
anxious
excieted
i am happy :-)

more updates soon!

update...

2006-06-04T14:31:00.000-04:00

I am sorry I havnt been much responsive to all your comments...
I do appreciate all of you that stop by my blog and say something...and also that choose to stay quiet...

There is just a lot going on with me of lately
And too many things to worry about right now...
I dont know how long this will last...
Might just be like a mood swing and I mightbe back blogging tommorow
I dont know...
I do know things will be a lot clearer 2-3 weeks from now...
hope you all are doing well...

I do miss visiting all of your blogs....Hope to be back soon!

100 Things About Me

2006-05-29T23:06:00.000-04:00

I am a very complicated person.
I love music... I listen to a variety... from Eminem to Evanescence...from rap to cuddly love songs.
I can listen to one song over and over and over again if I like it enough.
I want a puppy...real bad.
I get angry real quick.
I also forget the anger rather quick.
I dont have too many friends.
I get along with men better than females... most of the time.
I like to cook.
I like to force people to eat what I make. LOL
Usually i dont like the food I make myself.
I hate politics.
I hate money.
I hate cocky people.
I am creative...but I lack the patience. Many times I will start on stuff... and never get it done.
I get easily bored.
I am big on romantic gestures.
I love hugs.
Not many people, if any at all, know the REAL complete me.
It is easy for me to fall in love.
I bite my nails.
I get pissed off if I am having a bad hair day.
I am a cry baby.
I have a low tolerance for bull shit.
I want to have twins.
I want 3 kids (total).
I get sick often... I guess I really dont take good care of myself.
I dont like to sleep.
I like silence.
Thundering fascinates and scares me.
I read horoscopes often.
I like doing things at the spur of the moment.
I like all the unimaginable turns life can take.
I hate fights.
Most of my younger cousins don't like me cause of my anger.
I am stubborn.
I am also obidient.
I want to get a tattoo and a piercing.. (not in my ears)
I want to make out with someone that has a tongue piercing. Wierd? Maybe a lil bit!
I like watching TV.
I like watching Oprah.
I dont like being called an "American" or an "Indian." I am ME...thats it!
I dont care much about what people think of me.
I hate it when people dont do things they want to because it will affect how others look at them.
I like questioning things most people take for granted.
I want to get drunk and have a "wild" night.
I have never been 'drunk'
I am a rough driver.
I love speeding.
I want to buy myself a pimped out car and then participate in a cross-country race.
I like my Lancer.
I think most men are misunderstood.
I like calling him for no reason.
I love it when he says that he loves me.
I hate my aunt (dad's sis). I got into a verbal mini cat fight with her... and I loved it!!
I like it when I stand up for myself... I dont do it too often!
I dont like very religious people.
I believe in destiny.
I want to persue a career in art for myself.
I am lazy.
I like coffee.
I like my blog (there was a point where I didnt)
I have another anonomous blog.
I am a tomboy.
I once told myself I would never date a white guy.
I need alone, all-by-myself time every day.
I am shy and reserved.
I curse in front of my parents.
My mom laughs when I curse at or flick off a person driving too slow.
I say we are the Indian Osbourne family.
I miss the rain in India.
I am little bit of a neat freak.
I lie sometimes... I AM a neat freak.
I like american chinese food.
I have been on a blind date.
My first b/f was a great kisser.
All the guys I have dated in the past have been as tall as me, 1-2 inches shorter, or 1 inch taller.
Shorter guys have officially been banned. (as boyfriends!!) ;-)
I think beer is nasty and stinky.
Vodka is another story!
I like getting a tan.
I like to travel.
I have been travelling a lot of lately.
I want to drive from the US east coast to the US west coast and back!
I am a low-maintenance kinda chick.
I like taking pictures.
I eat a lot of cough drops.
I like the smell of lavendar.
I love it when someone plays with my hair.
I think I will go to hell...if there is a place like that...
I like to flirt.
I believe a woman should know how to manipulate her man.
She should also be ready to pay for her actions..!! (OTK spanking style) lol
Promises are usually made to be broken.
I am a goof ball.
It is beautiful when it snows.
I hate bugs.
This is a long list!
I respect you if you have read all of this.
My name starts with the letter 'B'. LOL

PS - Shall reply to comments from the previous post soon.
Enjoying my last few days with my cousins!!
Shall have some pictures of the places we have visited in the next post!

blabber

2006-05-24T15:11:00.000-04:00

I just want to say something here....

You know those times... when you have sooo much going on in your head... you cant possibly consciously know what all that is in there...

Kinda like when you are stading on the shoulder of a highway.. and the cars just zipping by,....
Do you notice the make or model? Do you know the car color? Was it a man or woman driving?

Isn't it amazing the number of questions that exist in the world... even more questions that you can't answer...

Watching the DaVinci Code has just got my brains going crazy... in a good way...
I know it's fiction...
But it was made to mess with people's minds!
So in my case it's working...

And again...right now... I feel millions of thoughts crossing my mind...
I went from talking about this...to cars...to DaVinci Code...

Do you need any more proof? lol

Does anyone have those kinda moments?
Do you really have all those thoughts going thru your head... or is your brain capable of only a limited few?
Do you know?

lol... okay I know I sound weird here...
I am just exceptionally fascinated...
With what?

lol.

Okay stop...don't be judgemental.
Let's play a game okay....
Just ask yourself one question. One random question... just anything....
And then keep the questions going...for 2 minutes.
That's all I am asking for.

When you comment...put in the first question you started with...and the question you are at at the end of 2 minutes.
Let's see if you know what kinda things your brain is capable of...

Alright Ill do it to...
I start with... What is my brain capable of?
I end with.... Is there a difference between the things you know... and the things you think you know or the things your conscious self knows?

Sheer Randomness!!

Graduated!!

2006-05-14T20:06:00.000-04:00

I graduated!! YAAY!!
But still a long way to go! LOL

nothing else to say
probably wont be here for the next 2 weeks or so cause Ill be busy with cousins from India!

hope u all are well!!

Random

2006-05-13T00:06:00.000-04:00

New template up HERE

And also something else...

you gotta listen to 'buttons' by the pussycat dolls...

too hot

more laters!

Amazing

2006-05-08T22:33:00.000-04:00

So I found this one link thru someone else...
And this is an absolutely amazing video...
its an arts/crafts related video...but this isn't anyhting 'normal'
this is truely amazing...
check it out...

click HERE for the video!!

Cinco de Mayo

2006-05-05T17:34:00.000-04:00

Hey people...
It's May already!!

This year has been so fast. And so wonderful :-)
Amazing things have happened... met wonderful people, still have a few (okay one) wonderful personal to meet in little over a month, been a lotta happy times, and finally after so long have enjoyed college
Kinda weird...cause I never did. It was more like an ugly stage I just didnt want to deal with and wanted to get it over with...
And now... maybe I missed out... but hey...it's all good. :-)
I guess this is one of those happy days..
Have family from India arriving tommorow :-)
So more good times...
Except for the exceptional times when my two cousins manage to drive me nuts!!
Which btw doesnt take much effort for those that don't know me too well!! LOL
Hmm... hope you all are doing well!!

Oh I found this taggie somewhere... its interesting..
After the # of years ago, say 3 things...

20 years ago...
~ I was a cute little baby girl.
~ I was very sick.
~ Doctors said my "end" could be near **They obviously were wrong! :-)**

10 years ago...
~ I was very naive.
~ I had long hair (longer than what they are now!).
~ I didn't talk much.

5 years ago...
~ I was madly in love (with the wrong guy!)
~ I missed India too bad.
~ My hair was really short.

3 years ago...
~ Was around the time when I smoked my first cig.
~ Life was pretty ugly.
~ I was convinced there was no such thing as love.

1 year ago...
~ I was sick and tired of studing.
~ I was discovering new things about the real me.
~ I really got into blogging (if I get my timeline right!)

So far this year...
~ I have learned several valuable lessons.
~ Maybe fallen in love :-)
~ Tried to bring my two extremes into one harmonized person... lol the keyword...TRIED!

Yesterday...
~ I tried to study!
~ I was nervous about not doing good on today's final.
~ I procrastinated.

Today....
~ I am happy.
~ I did my bed. LOL
~ Took that hard exam... (did pretty good)

Tommorow...
~ I will be excieted about the extra people in the house.
~ I will study.
~ I will try to sleep in.

In the next year...
~ I want to have a good stable job.
~ Maybe do some reading.
~ Try to spend more time on drawing

:-D

aggravated

2006-05-02T10:38:00.000-04:00

I am so pissed off...
I really need a freaking job... I am applying to every damn stupid job available.... but I just don't hear back form anyone...
Am I like the only one graduating in a few days and still completely clueless of what the heck I am going to do??
And who I hear back from... they either need citizens...or someone with experience...
Fucked up shit

Sumthin

2006-04-25T19:18:00.000-04:00

1. Grab the book neartest you, turn to page 18 and find line 4.
"In most countries, voting rights have only been awarded to women in the last thirty years." What do you know!!!

2. Stretch your left arm as far as you can....
I feel a wall

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Probably the news this morning....unattentively

4. Without looking guess what time it is.
hmmmm 7PM

5. Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?
7.17pm

6. With the exception of the computer, what do you hear?
The AC blow above me..

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
Last stepped out 2 or 3 hrs ago.. to get the mail.

8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
I dunno...my blog I guess...

9. What are you wearing?
Capri style pajama bottoms and Meredith College tshirt.

10. Did you dream last night?
I think I did dream of HIM

11. When did you last laugh?
2 or 3 hrs ago.

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
Hmm...paint, AC vent ~ thats on one angular side of the wall...

13. Seen anything weird of lately?
Hmmm naw

14. What do you think of this quiz?
It cool..

15. What is the last film you saw?
FULL ~ Scary Movie 4
Not completely but more recently...Taxi 9211

16. If you became a multimillionare overnight, what would you buy?
A gorgeous house in India... and also maybe some other exotic location!!

17. Tell me something about you I dunno.
Wow... tell you more eh!! lol. I am thinking about doing something REALLY wild and crazy for my birthday... *wink* lol

18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt and politics, what would you do?
Distroy the feeling of greed...esp for money!!

19. Do you like to dance?
Not really...

20. George Bush
Fucking a$$hole.
BTW...if he sees this... why dont you pay for the RIDICULOUS gas prices! biyatch!!!

21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Hmm...not sure..too many choices.

22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
Eshaan. LOVE that name!

23. Would you ever consider living abroad?
LOL...i alredy am!!

24. What do you want GOD to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?
Now do you believe that I do exist!!?!!

25. 4 people who must also do this meme in their journal?
anyone that got the balls

help

2006-04-20T18:56:00.000-04:00

please visit this page and comment!!

Dual Burthday Bums

2006-04-17T16:04:00.000-04:00

Yep...dual birthday bums... so here goes...my blogs cherry got popped!

Two very close friends...
Both have a lot in similar...but still they are unique in their own special ways

I couldnt help but laugh when I realized that they both shared the same birthdays...
I have known both for about the same time...
They both almost always appear offline
And my first time talking to both of them was kinda weird funny something... its hard to put to words but definately cant forget the first convos I had with both of them... so different.. and yet so much the same!!

oh well....here goes....
happy birthday vicky and dee!!!!

Where do I start...!!!
You both are such amazing personalities..

Lets go alphabetically...
Dee...
Hmm where do I start....
Thanks to you and our friday pool "dates" I am now close to beating ur ass up in hte game! lol
You are so much fun to be around and I only wish you werent all that busy with work all the time...!!
And I know this isnt gonna to be as good as all the birthday wishes u will get.... but hey it comes from the heart...
ill let u in on a secret... every time i say that i hate you.. i only mean that I HATE YOU VERY MUCH! lol
just kidding!
love ya!!

Vicky...
September 11.... you claim or rather guess ...or maybe both ... that I am a tall gujju doctor... 2 out of 3 right...so not bad! you even got my last name right!!
so many unanswered questions.... but I think thats the best part!!
you are so unpredictable... and thats the best part about you...
cant thank you enough for all the advice
muahz!

Both of youll are such darlings.... enjoy your birthdays!!

** please look at the previous post too and please visit my yahoo group...please please please!!! THANK YOU!***

help me!!

2006-04-16T20:29:00.000-04:00

Hi people
Okay now this is a desperate plee to everyone here
I am doing a project in my women studies class... and we did a topic on safe sex.
So I would really appereciate it if you guys could just join the group and contribute somehow...
please please please

And this is not only for the women...its for hte guys
And yeah...please act like u are sexually active if you arent...

you will understand what im talking about by just following the link on the right
please do it for me!!
please!!

I will love you forever
lol
do you get the idea abt how desperate i am!! lol
allright now... go go go!! please!!

thanks a million!!

blah

2006-04-14T18:35:00.000-04:00

Where do I start....
I almost dont really look at this page any more...
and when I do...I dont really feel like commenting back to you all
nor visiting your pages...
I guess there is so much on my mind I dont really care about others lives.... nothing personal..

I questioned and still do if I should talk about this..
or even publish this post..

What do you do when you care about a person deeply... and you know there is something special there...but that person doesnt seem to be putting into the relationship as much as you are...
what do you do when your partner doubts and is skeptical about the future...
just someone who has their guards up at all times

what do you do when you just hold back on saying i love you even when you really want to
what do u do when you know that person in front of you is the right person... but you infortunately met him at the wrong time
what do u do when for a long long time you wished for one thing... and then when that thing is about to happen...you just wish it wasnt going to

what do you do when the person who you think of all day and night just doesnt have time to pull away from paperwork, housework, yardwork, and whatelse

what do you do when most of the times you call that person you get their answering machine..

i cant publish this...

composed april 12th

Monthly Changes

2006-04-11T10:53:00.000-04:00

Thank you all that commented...
Looks like its going to be Monthly Templates!

Check out the April template and make comments!!

Of Templates...

2006-04-05T14:04:00.000-04:00

Gone are those days when finding templates was such a pain...
And now... in about 4 months I have collected about 75 different templates!!
Just all kind of different things.. I think the template should kinda depict how things are with yourself..
Most of them coming from BlogSkins...
Christmas, flowers, being in love, and getting dumped..
Hey you gotta have a back up plan!!
The collection keeps going on growing almost continuously...

So first I thought of having a new blog dedicated to different templates for blogger users...
But then... that would be a lot of work.. and I think I have enough on my plate for right now!
So... Coming Soon will be a certain template ...either weekly or monthly...
I am leaning more towards a monthly thing... but i dunno... maybe biweekly..
oh well..

So do comment and let me know what your personal choice is...
The choice are weekly, biweekly, or monthly
Let me know what youll think!

bonjour

2006-04-01T12:09:00.000-05:00

Bonjour monsieur et maitresse!
Remercier vous tout pour votre commenter. Le plan etre monter avec quelque chose ennuyant. ecrire quelque chose dans francais... un peu communiquer avec Anz... Je pensee que je retirer mon français livre et ecrire quelque chose sur mon propre...
Mais bon vieux ennui donner un coup de pied dans... Je etre non egal supposer retarder avec ainsi beaucoup.
Desole pour slaughtering le amusement!
Hmmm ainsi ce etre le point ou je obtenir coller... ce qui je parler...
Je ne comprend pas.
Je etre searching sur le enchainement et trouver ces etonnant enchainement emplacement avec drole maudire mot.
Ainsi ce etre ce qui je.
Je etre going dire quelque chose mauvais ou drôle dans hmmm 15 different languages. Ainsi ici aller!

1. FRENCH
Va te faire foutre!

2. SWEDISH
Skit ocksa

3. ITALIAN
Mi hai rotto i coglioni

4. ZULU
Uyahlanya yini?

5. DUTCH
Mafkees

6. GERMAN
Deine Zahne sind wie die Sterne so gelb und so weit auseinander

7. RUSSIAN
Yebany v rot

8. AZERI
Pokhuvu ye

9. LATIN
Plenus stercoris es

11. CAJUN
Salope

11. SINGLISH
Si Bak Kau

12. TALISH
Kim shti qav

13. JAVANESE
Asu

14. OCCITAN
Cagar

15. SLOVAK
Pičovina

LOL....go figure~

naughty naughty!

2006-03-29T10:49:00.000-05:00

Before you read this...please go visit Anz blog.... read what she had to say... and then come back and read this!

Wrote a blabber post for the heck of it...however that was in English, but now this one is in French. For those who know French good enough for you for those who don't please avoid cursing me. This is a cool idea shared between a blogger friend and me (you would know the name soon) This is a post that aims to irritate everyone...and I hope I am achieving this objective to a certain extent. I feel so devilish! If the above mentioned words make you feel like I have lost my nuts and bolts then I never said I had them intact . Kaush now try to make sense out of this.

LOL
Come back to see how naughty I get! *devilish grin*

random questions

2006-03-28T20:26:00.000-05:00

1.What time of the day is it at your end right now?
8:25pm

2.What did you last eat?
desi food

3.What are you wearing right now (hopefully you're wearing something ahemm)?
t-shirt, pjs

4.What was your weekend like?
booring... didnt do anything! lol it was a typical weekend!

5.Did you sleep well last night?
Was up until late.. but did sleep well in the amount of time that i was asleep

6.What's your favorite time of the day?
late in the night

7.Who did you last kiss?
ummm... damn its been a while!

8.Did you see any cute guy/gal today?
yea...sure

9.When did you last speak to your mum/dad?
before 15 mins or so

10.When did you last have an argument and have you patched up?
last one...hmmm maybe a week ago.. and yes.

11.Who/what cant you live without right now?
hehe my lappie.. and my darling tommy.. *wink*

12.Are you in love right now?
Yes... lol no surprises here!!
what i mean is that its a huge world...there is always something to love!

13.If you met me in real, what would be your first expression?
ud see me as a shy person at first

14.Have you ever loved someone who's already taken?
lol yeah! sigh.

15.If I came over to your place, what would you do?
ummm...offer a drink.

16.How do you watch TV?
depends on whats on... usally multi tasking

17.What do you need right now?
another slice of the juicy watermelon thats in my fridge

18.What's your favorite sense?
umm... i cant discriminate!

19.Where would be the the ideal spot to be with someone you love?
up in the mountains... cuddling together in bed under a huge warn blanket..

20.What's closest to your bed?
Accounting books. gaah... need to get back to the books!!

Cheers

blabber...

2006-03-26T09:39:00.000-05:00

It is just an urge to write something... or rather I want to see something other than the italicized poem!
Im writing a paper on Female Genital Mutilation... its such a sad and disturbing topic!
Anyways...
Last night I was looking at my old old computer and found a whole bunch of poems and forward emails and all that kinda stuff
I went thru this phase of saving every worthy forward email...
I got quite a collection!!
And I had completely forgot about it...
So... it was a good discovery...!!

I know I sound boring... it feels like its been a while since I have written a random blabber post!!
LOL

Any ways... I put up something more on my lil cooking blog...so do check it out...
The link is on the right!!
Until next time....

that thing called love

2006-03-22T21:15:00.000-05:00

I hope Im not living in a dream...
If I am, then I would like to wake up with you by my side...
Thats all I want for my life and nothing more..
If not you, then there will be nobody...
If not now, then it will never be...
If not in this lifetime, then Ill never be born again..
for it will take generations to find you again...

** Another online discovery!

quote of the day....

2006-03-20T13:56:00.000-05:00

So I read this on my college campus... it made me laugh and the bitches around me stare at me like I was stupid...

Behaved women are not remembered in history!

LOL.
Gotta love a womens college!!

dissapointed

2006-03-16T02:46:00.000-05:00

This is so damn dissapointing...
I was blog hopping and I have been seeing a lot of hindi pop up...
Now this is me seeing hindi after a long time...
I didnt give it a try until a few minutes ago...
And... well... I cant really read it! I can barely read hindi!
I have to think of what the alphabet is...
It makes me mad...
DAMN!
Its sad.... i know!

hindi was always somewhat of a hard thing for me.... but reading was never a problem... the problem was the talking..
even 6 or 7 years back when you would have heard be talking...it would be like an ABCD
Arghhh...

drum roll

2006-03-15T19:21:00.000-05:00

YAAAY!!!!
Finally a new template... I fell in love with this one at first sight..
Kinda reminded me of this picture I found online...

So...hmm I dont really have much to say..
So... cya laters!!

i dunno...

2006-03-11T03:23:00.000-05:00

Im afraid this is actually happening...
Im addicted to you...
And I cant believe the things I do..

I ache for your touch...
Just one finger tip on your lips...
Please... dont budge..

I still hold your hand...
Hold your hand when I sleep...

If only you could wipe my tears...as I weep

I want to...
Touch you, hold you, kiss you, and make love...
Make love just one more time..

Please let me...
It hurts so much
Please...consider it...
As I am kneeling at your feet.

**Please look at the previous post and vote on which template you like the best, if you havnt already done so...Thanks a bunch!! **

Brokeback Mountain

2006-03-08T02:34:00.000-05:00

BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN
*It will probably be a better idea to stop reading right here if you are an extreme homophobic!*

One Saturday evening... at the movies...

"So what movie do you want to see?"
"We could see Brokeback Mountain....it came out earlier in the week... "
"I havnt heard the name... what is it about?"
"Gay country boys having sex out in the wilderness back in the sixties!"
"Haha... no I think I am going to pass on that.... I am not in the mood for gay porn."

I am not sure if people have heard of this movie or not.... but if you have... did you react somewhat in that manner? What are you thinking right now?
Would you be interested in watching the secretive love story of Jack Twist and Ennis Del Mar?
I said no to it at first....

And then I hear more and more about it as time goes by since my awareness of its existance.
There are people actually watching that movie!!
Its making profits!!!
ITS NOMINATED FOR OSCARS!!!!
Woah... how did that happen????

Trying to know what the big hype was all about.... I download the movie.
It got done at about 11pm... so I thought I would see a little bit and then catch the rest later...
But ...... thats what I thought would happen...

I was hooked within the first 15 minutes.. I could have been within the first 5 minutes...and did not even recognize it........
The beauty and the magesty of the great outdoors was sensational..

They were stuck out there....
All alone....
Maybe it was bound to happen....

There was passion and fervor...
The anger and the fear of those queer desires and not being accepted by society

Still.... they fell in love...

This is hands down one of the most amazing movies I have seen...
The story... is just so pure and simple... and not very traditional!

A secret.... and their journey through time....

The music fits the movie perfectly...
Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhall do a marvellous job.... engaging in acts of passion and love.

If you havnt seen the movie...please do!!

I dont do the selling stuff too well... but you really gotta watch this movie.

And maybe if you are not comfortable with the homosexuals.... maybe this will make you understand them better...
I dunno...
You know what my point is...
I loved it!

Hope those that do decide to check it out do too...

** Allrite people I need some help... It is that time for a template change and I need your help....
There are 3 I like... please check them out and lemme know what you think...

1 ~~ First one...

2 ~~ Second one...
This one is a little hard to navigate maybe...click on Entries ...

3 ~~ Third one..

So there goes!! please check them out and tell me what you all think! Thanks! *MUAHZ*

2006-03-07T21:22:00.000-05:00

Hope things are well with everyone in Gujrat and the current earthquake situation

LOVE

2006-03-05T22:32:00.000-05:00

If you had to make a choice...which would you pick...

A~~n almost~~ perfect partner, but a short lived companionship

OR

A life long commiment and companionship with someone not exactly perfect...but hmmm ok sure he is ok types.

I know the question has been asked before.... a lot of times
But do we really know...

Why would you give up on perfection
Even if it is short lived
Why would you not want to be loved by someone...that will love you live no one else can....
Why...
Because we are so weak

Why do matters of the heart and love have to be so painful

Why is love the most beautiful thing... and also one of the most painful thing....

If you have never fallen in love,... you probably wonder what it is...how it feels...
And then when it happens...
I think it changes your life forever...even though the different possible consequesces

If it all works out for you.... you have found the ONE
If it doesnt.... you either move on...or you dont
If you move on....you restart that search for love
You try to find that special someone... remembering the things that went wrong the first time... hoping it doesnt happen again...
If you dont move on.... it stays within you ....

If you havnt been in love...it will be the most amazing thing...

If you have been in love... I think you have gone though a change because of that enchanting and captivating thing..

Take a moment...
Try to remember the first time you felt like you were in love...
the first time your heart skipped a beat when some said they loved you

There is no point to this post...
Maybe I should have mentioned that before
But maybe this got you thinking...
Maybe it reminded you of things or of someone from the past,...
Things you havnt thought about in a while...
If this brings back memories you wish you could forget....my appologies

Where did this come from...... My Heart Will Go On

bitchy

2006-03-05T02:44:00.000-05:00

i feel sooooo bitchy
i want an ugly cat fight
i am mad
i am hsgdgfdsfhgdsjfs
fuck you

The American View of India

2006-03-01T16:28:00.000-05:00

The American View of India

For some reason I am seeing a lot of things on the situation in India today...

First thing in the morning..when I turned on theTV, it was te first thing on the news. Some reporter doing a special series thing where he goes to India and talks about this and that. About how the poverty situation is getting completely out of control. How India is the a poor country. Most of the people, if not all, are below the poverty line..

Yes I know thats not true... but that is what they make it seem.

In the past 5 years, I have seen several shows and programs that mention things about India... and almost every time they mention India, the first images that they show are those that push India down...

Why do images like these have to be the itroductory glances of India, for those that do not know about this third world country...
Why not of the amazing number of architectural achievements, of the beauty of nature...

And as I write this.... its being mentioned on Oprah too... and Meg Ryan visits India... and she talks about her stay in Delhi.... in the video she talks about how people earn $0.50 and $1.50 a day... but why not convert it in Rupees and say how that is more than what they think it is... the folks can buy themselves meals and have some kinda clothes on their back with that money!

I guess I kind of understand now why most Americans make comments like...
Oh you speak great English!
or....
Did you speak any English when you were in India..

You cant really blame them... the media provides half truths...

I recently visited a friend in Washington DC, and she took me around to check out things in the locality...
And I saw a bunch of poor people!
A thing like poverty exists everywhere!
Walking around the streets reminded me of my recent India visit.. because my friend asked if looking at the poverty there reminded me of the poverty situation in India.

A guy was sitting at the door of a little convinient store that had been closed down...
He was trying to fit himself between the walls around the main entrance, trying to avoid the strong winds...
Isnt that bad....
So why dont you see pictures like those when you hear about the greatest country in the world... America!

I know the poverty in America is only a fraction of what it is in India... but its still there!
But still...it almost never gets mentioned.
There are so many people that see this country as the glory land...
Is it really..... you be the judge!

When I moved here, I had a hard time with this.. and blamed the stupid Americans for asking me some really stupid questions about India...
But I understand why now...
The finger should be pointed at a whole another group of poeple...

Check out the below link to view the story
Thanks Kaush for the link!

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=1677088&page=1

nutty

2006-03-01T12:44:00.000-05:00

I am officially going nuts
I am restless
I cant stop shaking my legs..
I want that coke sitting right in front of me..
I was to grab it... and drink out of it ...and smash it
I havnt had any in a month...

Ok FINE...its a lie
I had a can yesterday
But I really hadnt before yesterday

I am blogging compulsively...
I dont want to reply to comments
I desperately want a new template

What on earth is happenening!!!!!!!!!!

pet peeves

2006-02-28T09:53:00.000-05:00

Pet Peeves

I hate list!

I hate it when people lie... and it is very obvious that they are doing so.
I hate it when people judge a book by its cover
I hate money hungry people.
I hate how fake some people can be online.
I hate females taller than me.
I hate people that never return a call.
I hate it when people visit my blog only when they see my comment on their blog.
I hate cocky people.
I hate it when people try to brainwash you and try to make you agree with what they say.
I hate it when drunk folks say things that they SHOULDNT be saying.
I hate when people do drugs...and think thats cool.
I hate it when people say things about me that are not true.
I hate it when people keep messing with me.
I hate it when people butter up to people... very cheap!
I hate feeling too cold or too hot.
I hate being hungry, and not having anything to eat or not knowing what I want to eat.
I hate politicians and politics....ALL OF THEM!
I HATE when Hindus hate Muslims just cause of their religion.. and vice versa.
I hate racist people.
I hate when people give advice...without me asking for it or when I dont personally think I need it.
I hate it when I get really really angry.
I hate it when people question me being Indian or American. Or when they make comments on how not Indian I am.
I hate bugs.
I hate when people complain all the time
I hate when I complain...

Blah

2006-02-27T02:13:00.000-05:00

blah blah blah blah

im not sleepy... or maybe i dont care about the sleep
im not hungry... or maybe i just dont care to eat
i dont miss u.... i said i dont!
maybe its the intensity of the situation,
that makes me feel like i wont
im not waiting for u to take me back
im not hoping for us to reunite
i am not awake cause i miss you
no.... its just a damn habit!
i swear i dont.... wont
beg for you to take me back.

please tell me i havnt lost my ability to write and my creativity!

The convo

2006-02-23T09:44:00.000-05:00

An Interesting Conversation
p.s. I know this is a long convo... but I think its worth the read!

Infinite Love

T: do yo uthink infinite love is possible?
Bi: yes
T: by definition that means it cant be measured
B: that guy u talked about... what he did was just that...
earlier....
T: he was involved in a very bad accident that paralyzed him from the neck down
B: ohhh
T: he was in a wheelchair and had no use of his arms or legs
B: ohpoor thing
T: his wife wanted to care for him and she did for a long time
T: but then.......... he told her she should leave and lead her own life............
they had enough from the disability insurance to hire full time care for him
T: it took over a year to convince her but she finally did leave......
T: thats a good observation
B: he will always love her...or he always loved her...
B: until his end...so that kinda makes it infinite
T: hmmmm
T: just tthinking............. if its infinite there is no end
B: true...
B: but ummm
B: well it all kinda depends on what u believe happens after death
B: if the soul lives on... doesnt his love for too
T: interesting question
T: reincarnation has always fascinated me
B: its very neat...
T: but I have always wondered......... if that is true, do memories go from one life to the next?
B: i think so... but i guess the question is will u ever discover that its there
B: i think there is a loooot of things that are stuck in ur mind even right now that u migt be unaware of
T: there are those that claim that they recognize placces they have visited before
B: i get those deja vus a lot of times...
B: and that kinda really gets me going...
T: really
B: yeah..
B: and then we talked abt it in my world religion class
B: and its really ummm
B: i dunno...ther are just so many questions...most of which will probably remain unanswered
T: that sounds like a great discussion
T: I like the unanswerable questions
T: lol
B: she actually said something soo cool abt the wizard of oz story the other day...
T: so do you beliebe in reincarnation?
B: hmm yeah...i think i do
T: what about the wiz?
B: different bodies...but teh same soul...
B: well ...wait lemme tell u waht exactly she said
B: you were looking for something that was never lost to begin with...but u have to look for it... to realiza that u had it all along...
T: hmmmmmmmmmm
B: i dunno...i just love the paradox
T: yes me too
B: hehe
B: religions are so much cooler than i thought they were
B: and i actually learned things abt my own religion i didnt know abt
B: hehe i guess i missed out a few things by not going to our version of the bible school
B: we are doing buddhism right now... and it is soooo cool
T: it is not jusut religion it is also philosophy
T: it is a way of living your life
B: yeah
T: christianity is all about fire and brimstone and being punished for being bad
B: oh yeah... that i dont like it when religions say that everyoine should be of my religion
T: thats a human frailty
T: that one persons religion is the only "true" reliegion
T: in reality it doesnt matter
B: yeah
T: its the sense of belonging, the sense of a higher order to things
B: i think ppl wshould do what they want to do...but not force it on others... i think thats bull
T: christianity calls it "God" as a person who oversees
T: buddhism I think sees it as "nirvana" as more of a place of a way of arriving at a high men tal state
B: yeah
T: what I find amusing is the whole intelligent design thing
B: whats that
T: oh an outgrowth of the evolution vs creation argument
B: ohhh ok
T: the religious right in this country had to come up with a new theory to force creationism
T: so they are now calling it intelligent design.......... meaning that there is too much order to the evolution of the species that it couldnt happen by itself, it had to be designed by a superior being
B: hmmm
T: school boards in certain parts of the country are trying to outlaw the teaching of biology in favor of religion
B: thats ridiculous
T: there was a case in pensylvania recently
B: ohhh
T: it was stopped by a federal court
B: education should have nothing to do with religion
T: well religion implies thinking.......... and education has everything to do dwit hthinking
B: well but then what religion do u pick
B: there is a loooooot of diversity here
T: its not so much a choice as it is a belief system, and sometimes yo uhave to invent your own
B: hmmm
B: i think ppl try ttooo hard to answer questions that exist abt everything in this world...
T: for me, what I call God is more of a guiding force than a person
T: some questions are unanswerable
T: and that is okay
B: yeah
B: nad maybe some can be answered
B: but its so opinionated...so maybe its better left the way it is
T: yesss perhaps
B: i just cant think of everything around religion...
B: like i cant make all my toughts religion oriented
B: i mean i just belive what i want to belive....
B: and what i belive is a mixute of all kinda religions
B: im not gonna go arund telling ppl im part hindu and part buddhist and part something else
T: ok let me ask you this.... what is love?
B: a special bond..
B: a bunch of diff emotions
B: infinite
B: unexaplainable
T: yes thats it
T: unexplainable
T: infinite really doesnt do it justice
B: yeah..
T: infinite is a quantification
B: its one of those things u cant see...but u feel
T: it means you can measure it, except you cant measure it
B: yeah...true
B: u cant see it...or touch it
B: even though it touches u...indirectly
T: it makaes you want to oopen up
B: what is one of unanswerable questions...
B: because there are so many things
B: like what is love
B: there is so much to it
B: and a lot of it... that u cant put to words
T: and yet your body also responds to it
T: your body controlled by your mind and your thoughts
B: yes...its with u all the time
T: yessss a mysterious force
B: and u know what
B: the best part is...not knowing...
B: maybe ill feel somehjting and discover something new...
B: i duno wehn
B: i dunno if i will
B: but that gray is the fun part
B: the excietement
T: yesss the discovery process
T: discovering more about yourself
B: adn i think thats why ppl should just leave thing teh way they are..
B: and not mess with it too much
T: tehre will always be those self righteous ones
B: yes we are curiious creatures....
B: but ummm.. i dont know
B: its like what teh buddhist say...
B: that its all just a passing moment...
B: things are gonna come and go
B: u chose what u want to hold on to
B: ur on a journey...just keep observing and learning
B: dont hold on
T: yes
B: cause while u are holding on...u might be missing on other things
T: thats my philosophy
B: god! isnt life so interesting!
B: lol i so wanna put this convo up on my blog... its so itereting

This Weekend

2006-02-20T15:32:00.000-05:00

There is only one way to describe the weekend... it was HORRIBLE.
I was just lying in bed and complaining most of the time...
And the worse part.... I didnt get a damn thing done...
NOTHING...
so that puts me back big time on my schedule...
*sigh*

and heres a random thought....
for the men who think marriage is hell...
those that complain even before they reach their 5th wedding anniversary...
you think having a wife is hellish...
imagine that evil bitch going thru menopause...
if right now you wanna kill her... you will want to kill yourself if you manage to make it thru till then...

oh oh and another random thing...
i saw on the news i think yesterday morning....
a 62 year old lady gave birth to a baby!!!!!
62!!!!
can you imagine
how yuck..
and no she wasnt even one of those exceptional hot old women
not even close!!!!
lol
pathetic pathetic.... *sigh*

5 Interesting Things About Me

2006-02-15T14:17:00.000-05:00

5 Interesting Things About Me

So I tried to fill out the list.... and I think Im stuck...
So here is a twist...
How about you answering the question...
1,2,3,4,5, or as many things as you think are interesting about me....if any at all! lol
Have fun! And thanks for participating,.... if you choose to do so!!

** Check out my all new cooking blog! ** The link is to your right... scroll a bit!

The day of love

2006-02-12T17:34:00.000-05:00

I am so eagerly looking forward to the wonderful day of love....
I actually went shopping today to find something to wear... just something I could wear when I went out to dinner with my hun!
And I found this perfect tee.... its a light pink long sleeve tee.. (just right for the bitter cold) and it has a cute print on there that says Love Hurts.....
LOL just appropriate....
I debated between that one and another one that spelled out Valentines Day Stinks
I picked this one, cause it is more likely to keep me warmer compared to the other one which was a short sleeve one.
I had a convo with a fellow blogger about how stupid and pointless this day is..
One should not have a special day for love..
If you are in love...every day should be special... ok ok maybe not every day... but the point is that one should not have to have a special day to take your partner to a romantic dinner...
And okay this is not a single mad female talking...hoping she had a date or something...
I have never done anything for Valentines Day,.... yes it is cute and all to do those romantic things... but it should be done other days of the year too....
Bake cakes, send love notes, send flowers, gift chocolates, eat at a nice romantic place... not just on Feb 14th!!
Its kinda like when you fall for someone and its a new thing... we do cute things for each others... our hearts beat faster with their touch, kiss, smile...
But then some how the specialness fades away.... I guess you get used to kissing, holding hands, saying the I love you`s....
So thats why I think you should do such special things to keep the fire burning...
Oh well...enough yapping... all those in love...enjoy your special someone... !!!!

You`ve made me happy
You`ve made me sad
You`ve made me laugh
You`ve made me cry
But most importantly
You`ve made me smile every single day

You`ve made me believe, hope, desire, love, and submit.

You`ve done things every day in the past 5 months.... to shape me into who I was always meant to be.

I am thankful.
I love you.

Birthday Wish

2006-02-09T14:54:00.000-05:00

So tommorow is a super cool blog buddys birthday....according to my time...
I have known him for about 4 or 5 months... but that time has been just wonderful!
From the whole 'tension nahi leneka' theory, to the talks about sleepless nights,... you have brought a smile to my face!
Through our ritualistic daily talks I got to know about your obsession with hot chocolate, your undying love for music, your Friday rituals *wink lol*..... and then some more...
Even though we have verrrrry different likes when it comes to music... I think its still fun to exchange music with you... lol you have managed to get me hooked onto a lot of stuff I would have never listened to otherwise...so thank you!
Your love for music has become like an inspiration for me and my love for art... so another thank you! And yes thank you (danke!) also for teaching me all that German... I remember danke, wilkommen, entschuldigung (which i think i mispelled), and sheisse.... umm thats it!
'Jab AN aur AN ke beech mein J aata hai tab ANJAN banjata hai'
lol
You are just an amazing person..... I LOVE your HOT bike, your sense of humor, your wonderful hair, your heigh, .... and ummm...some of you.... I think! lol
Happy Birthday!!! Hope you have a wonderful day!
And people...please pray with me... lets pray that he soon finds his perfect lover....
After all, if he waits any longer.... it might be tooooo late! lol
(I had to pull your leg on that one!!)
Happy Birthday again! Love Ya!

Blah Blah Blah

2006-02-06T14:08:00.000-05:00

So I got tagged! I tried to avoid it... not like the list will be any sort of shocker! LOL
I guess the time of lately is like procrastination at it's best...
Anyways... but before we do that perfect lover thing...I guess you'll noticed the template change...
I had this template saved and ready to go in 'My Documents' for a while... but just didnt do anything about it...
I guess I was looking for a good reason or a good purpose to change the template...
For a while I thought I would wait until the very auspicious D-'V'-Day...
I thought it would be great to go black wehn most of the world is going pink and red.. and all those hearts and flowers and stuff (more on my love for the V-Day on a later post..!)
And then today I saw Anjan change his template... and I was like...hey what the heck...I'll do it too. BTW thank you again Ajnan for doing the comment thingy on here...

Okay so now to the perfect lover... (sorry if make myself sound too choppy...)

Sex of the target: Male.
My perfect lover:
(1) Taller than me... and just an inch taller doesnt cut it! It would be nice, or rather perfect, to be able to wear heels and still me shorter.
(2) Has to be funny. Make me laugh and laugh at my stupid jokes.
(3) Not a cricket, football, baseball, or hockey buff. Well you can play...but none of the sitting and watching games on Sundays. Give me a break!
(4) Has to have nice smooth clean hair... long hair would be a big plus.
(5) Sensitive. Someone to hold... a shoulder to cry on... and understanding too.
(6) Not greedy (very important). Dont want someone thats running behind money all the time!
(7) Has to be the one in control of things.
(8) Someone whose fingers would fit perfectly in between mine.... someone that will make me feel better than I have ever felt before in my life,..... someone that will give me somehting to look forward to each morning when I get up.....someone that will be my better half... someone that will make my life seem complete, without whom living would me meaningless.....
Someone that will make me laugh, make me smile... and also make me cry... Someone that will then wipe my tears and hold me tight thoughout the night.....
These are only some of the things that would make my perfect lover...

Come on...we are tlaking about PERFECTION here... you cant just stop at 8!?!?!?!?!!! LOL

Part Three.... Conclusion

2006-02-01T16:49:00.000-05:00

Week two was with my grandparents in Gujarat. That was sort of boring... I was basically at home most of the time...just took up a few art projects.... Just wasting time around....
It was just basically family time...

Week three was the worst... I was in Ahemdabad.. and things got real bad... The first day we got into town at 9am... and after getting refreshed...it was time to get all the shopping done for there...
I came back home for lunch...and then out again... coming back home late at night...after a very looong day. Then day 2, we went to Ambaji and stuff for religious visits... The driver scared the shit out of me... Almost at a constant high speed in the triple digits... zipping thru cars and people walking on the road!
We ate lunch there... and there is where it starts going down hill...
I started feeling sick thirty minutes into the drive back home... Had to make the driver stop twice to throw up... And the dumbass would keep driving fast... giving jerks that made me feel like I could shoot out another load right there!

I spend the next 2 days in bed... sleeping most of the time. I dont think I have felt this yuck in a very loong time.
29th morning I wasnt even sure if I would be alble to return to Mumbai...
I ended up taking heavy doze medicines to make myself feel better...

I left Gujarat 31st morning... and the plan was to have a wild crazy night...
But.... like most of the trip... it did not go as planned...

Things changed at about 7 in the evening... Long story short...I ended up spending 31st night with a whole bunch of other friends and my sis...
It was a very calm and sober night... but it was fun.
I guess I could say I stayed sober...despite the much enjoyed screwdriver icecream!
If you call that getting drunk... then I got drunk...

And then there was the wedding..
It was a lot of fun... it was great to see family after so long.
Although it was very time consuming... and sometyimes tooo long...
I also got pointed out to a guy...and his mom told me...he is studying accounting too! Making me think that if you think that is going to attract me to him...you are SO WRONG!

So yeah I think thats all I have to say about it...
I am sorry this post was boring... I just dont feel motivated to write...

My trip on a whole...it was a lot of fun.
I loved Mumbai.. and cant wait to return back.
I learned that its best not to make plans... I had made several plans for this time... and NONE of them worked out as I had hoped them to...
So lesson learned...

Anyways... Im looking forward to write just regular posts..lol
and btw... chech out this link....< \a>

An Eventful Month – Part Two

2006-01-19T11:04:00.000-05:00

<>Oh yes....it was going to be a long long time till I got to my final destination.
NC to NY to Paris to India!
It was about an 8 hour flight from New York to Paris.
Closer to

India

, yes I was....but still not close enough....
The flight from Paris to Mumbai defined painful.
Not only was I feeling miserable because of my bad cold.... but I was also getting a horrible headache because of the crying babies. Lots of babies...
May and June I guess is the common popping out season... so I’m guessing when they are 6 months old, its time to take them to the grandparents in India.
Whatever the reason...or whatever the secret was....there were a lot of kids on the plane...
One would stop crying.... you would think thank god!....and soon after...another begins...
It was an endless cycle.
And another annoying thing....there was always a line for the bathroom.
That just got on my nerves....no matter when...the occupied sign was always lit up. The only time it wasn’t was when they were serving food....
Food....that also was another problem... dad forgot to tell them that we were veggies....so we got stuck with chicken. <>Anyways…
After a lot of 30 minute naps…. Fast forward to… India landing time…
It’s always so exciting to see the first glimpse of that place you have been eagerly looking forward to.
Tears quickly rolling down…. tears of joy…. finally I was home… <>

Greeted by a selected few family friends… and words like… "You look the same!"
Making me wonder, if that was a good thing or bad. I guess they were glad to see that I wasn’t wearing anything with a plunging neckline… or just anything that would be inappropriate!

<>The first day was very interesting.
When I woke up I was greeted with noises of cars honking. That I think was a good start. It did put a smile on my face! Day one was dedicated to shopping (just like most of my days, but… keep reading!)
I think I stood out like a sore thumb… especially when it came to crossing roads.
No one would be considerate and stop... infact I think people would speed up when they see people crossing the road.
It was funny…. I bet most of you would laugh your asses off if I had a video of my first day.
I would have to grab some inhabitants hand while crossing the road. It was also terrifying to see people driving.
During the peak traffic hours, I kept my eyes closed for parts of the drive because I kept thinking that the car next to us was too close… that people were driving in the middle of the lanes… people almost never showed their signal lights…

Things like this used to be normal and very regular 5 years back… and now it’s scary and frightening.

<>Before we landed in

India

, the plan was to get vaccinated for Malaria and all that NRI stuff…
That didn’t really happen…. actually we ended up breaking a rather strict rule on day one itself. The rule, created by grandpa, was not to eat road side food. Not to stop at any sevpuri waala bhaiya to get a bite. Apparently we had lost all our immunity... blah blah… beware, these are not my words!
So we were walking from one shop to another when my eyes fell on the sevpuri waala bhaiya. I don’t think I’ve ever drooled like the way I did at the sight of a man. I stopped, turned around, and looked at mom. She stares back at me with a straight face. Then she looked at the object of my affection, then moved her eyes back to me…. and smiled. YAY! That sevpuri was sooo good; I could have probably even licked off that guy's fingers! SERIOULY! <>

I know, I know…. it sounds really pathetic, but most of you’ll wont understand how orgasmic it could be when you get snatched out of the world where such food items are easily available… and then after 4 years… its all back again. Trust me… its ummm ummm good.
I was all smiles after that… maybe my smile could have been misunderstood as the ´I just had the best sex in my life´ smile. Ahem... lol yeah!

So basically that was day one…

The goal for day two was to loose the accent. I felt like people were dealing with us differently… I think it was very easy to tell we were different! My mom doesn’t even have that much of an accent… and still people could tell. Arrey (in mast Mumbai accent) even if we were not saying a damn word I think they could tell.

<>In one of the shops…we were looking at saris and I said that I did not like the style… so the guy tells me… "The style that you are looking at is the latest things. There, what you like is things that have come from here. So this style will come there after some time. This is new… and that’s why you are saying this. You will find the same style in almost every store."
That was kinda funny… He did have a very good point… !!!

The first week in Mumbai was very nice. I misplaced a lot of things, including my phone dairy, because I was living from one person’s house to another. So cause of that, I only got in touch with 2 of my friends whose phone numbers I had memorized.

<>Then there were a lot of firsts…
A lot of memories of old times coming back feeling as fresh as ever…
This week served as a reminder of old crushes, regeneration of some, realization of how things and people around me have changed, realization of how much I have changed (!!), an appreciation of things that were no longer mundane to my life…

And this was only the first week…

Come back and learn more about my trip in the concluding part...
I promise I wont make youll wait as long as I did this time..

And yeah,... ignore the date on here....
Take Care... and return soon!

An Eventful Month

2006-01-11T10:08:00.000-05:00

I could not sleep a wink the night before the big day - the day I finally left to go HOME!
Not like the not sleeping is a new thing.... but usually I chose not to sleep, but this time... I just couldnt.
There was excitement, nervousness, impatience, and a mixture of several other feelings that kept my brains working.
I was u early... showered, dressed and ready to go! Although, we were not going to leave until after lunch. It was a long few hours... but I thought...Yay! Im at the airport and that much closer to India. That was sooo not the case!
Anyways, after checking in the heavy baggage we had some extra time....so we just sat and watched all the others at the airport... Its so much fun how always desis struggle with the weight limit. We just dont get it straight do we!!!
LOL
Anyways...so after waiting there a while...it was time to say goodbye to dad and my sis. And then me and mom walked in ...security check...and then...AGAIN...there was more waiting to do.
Finally, I think I realized its going to be a looong time until I would actually get to India!!

End of part One.... hehe... I love to tease!
*Actually I was getting bored to type more....so this is this for now....more will be up soon. *

Appologies

2006-01-10T11:22:00.000-05:00

The plan was to write a big fat post on my whole experience there
But I think there are other things I need to do before....
Appologize....
I have had to deal with angry people...
Because during my time there I was not able to get in contact with people.
And it's really heart breaking when people just talk to me without hearing my side of the story.
Yes the plan was to atleast talk to all those that I took phone numbers from... and meet them if possible.
But it did'nt work like that...
I dont know if I should even explain why right now...
All I can say is that I would have if I had a chance...
So sorry .... Adarsh, Ajay, Akash, Pravin, Sadik, Sheriff, Vicky.

I'm Going HOME!!

2005-12-07T02:01:00.000-05:00

Hi people...okay first the exams...
On a whole they went well...the last one was crappy...but that is becuase I was just too excieted that it was my last exam tat I did not study well...but oh wells...I will make it up next semester!

So... the time is finnally here
I remember when my aunt called me that August moring....15th aug to be specific.. she said my cousin was getting married... and to me it didnt really directly register as that meaning that I would get to go to india... but when my tubelight lit... it was all smiles!
And now... the time has come!!!

Well... I am going to miss blogging.. and those that I talk to on here... and also I very much look forward to meeting some of you!
I will try to update from India if I get a chance... but no guarantees that I will.
And I promise a fun long post when I return!

Everyone have a fun during the holidays...or those that have holidays :-S
And everyone please me safe on New Years!
Allrite...so I should end this here...
You all take care and keep visiting!

Update

2005-12-02T11:08:00.000-05:00

One down....went well.... 2 easy ones and 2 hard ones more to go!

2 down... I found out I made a decent final grade in the first class...a C...which I'll happily take for a hard class! the second one was easy....now comes the hard ones....much dreaded HISTORY and accounting.. SIGH

3 down... History was surprisingly easy!!! Hard to believe..... Now working on an extra credit research paper and then have the art test in about 3 hours!
24hrs more... and ill be a free bird! well atleast for this semester! LOL

Chaotic...

2005-11-29T12:37:00.000-05:00

All I wanna do is scream, shout, and curse....
It's the 29thhhh!!!!!!
and I leave 7th morning...
WOAH! OMG!
yes yes im telling myself not to get too excieted,,,
i get done with finals on he 6th
and then its gonna be a mad rush 6th afternoon at about 3pm. when ill be done!
there is still shopping to do..
STILL!!!
umm bags to pack...
well basically i have done nothing!
and i dont even have the time to...
its been another night of no sleep....
and probably tonight will be too...
gaaaah....
on the bright side..im thankful to be weird...that i can go for a while without sleeping
lol
helps me!
haha

not sure if ill get a chance to post before i leave..
ill try to... but no guarantees...
you all have a wonderful time... and happy new year!!
umm some of u'll are gonna hear from me.. and i look forward to seeing some people from the blog world...
yikes...
*deep breath*
i have to update the art blog and i plan on doing it before i leave,...
hopefully!!
allrite so its back to the books now...
wish me luck! (and the same going out to others that ahve school and exams piling up!)
Peace!

Fun Time

2005-11-24T18:40:00.000-05:00

Okay I havnt done a shit in the past 2 days... and I really need tooooooooo...
Oh wells...
I was doing tp-ing with my cousin and saw this 'survey' on his blog...
so yeah im doing it..
its so long...but ive got nuthig better to do LOL

Basics

Your gender: Female
Straight/Gay/Bi: Straight (today!)
Single?: hmm
If not, do you want to be?: hmm this isconfusing
Birthdate: June 14
Your age: 21
Age you act: Sometimes 18....usually 21...
Age you wish you were: 25
Your height: 5'9.5" ... i.e. 5'10"
Eye color: Black
Happy with it?: Aye
Hair color: Black with highlights
Happy with it?: Aye
Lefty/righty/ambidextrous: Righty
Have any pets?: None
What's your job?: Minimum Wage Secretary
Piercings?: Ears(3) ...will be 4...maybe 5 soon! :-D
Tattoos?: Not yet
Obsessions?: u really dont want to know!
Addictions?: pepsi.... and im off it since over a month...SOB
Do you speak another language?: Umm yeah! Which desi doesnt! LOL

Deep Thoughts About Life and You in it

Do you live in the moment?: Very much so
Do you consider yourself tolerant of others?: not at all...lol
Do you have any secrets?: Yes.... several
Do you hate yourself?: Somethings...but who really doesnt hate themsevles once it in a while
Do you like your handwriting?: ehh...so so
Do you have any bad habits?: Yeah
What is the compliment you get from most people?: Loving...generous...
Are you a daredevil?: oh yeah!
Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself?: A lot about me... my personality...
Is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life?: Yes...a lot of stuff
Do you think life has been good so far?: mostly...but hey im having a moderate day...ask me when my day is bad
What do you like the most about your body?: height, hair, my 'assets'
And least?: tummy
Are you perceived wrongly?: many times

Do You...

Smoke?: Nope.
Do drugs?: Nope.
Read the newspaper?: hell no!
Pray?: sometimes...
Sleep with stuffed animals?: no.
Take walks in the rain?: Used to back home...rain in the 'mericas is just not fun
Talk to people even though you hate them?: nope
Drive?: Yeah
Like to drive fast?: Yeah..YEAH... LOL

Would or Have You Ever

Hurt yourself?: Yeah
Been out of the country?:Yeah
Been in love?: Yes
Done drugs?: No
Gone skinny dipping?: No
Played strip poker?: Nope
Been picked on?: Yes
Been on stage?: Yup.
Slept outdoors?: Yup
Pulled an all nighter?: Yes
Gone one day without food?: Yes,... try 8 days!
Talked on the phone all night?: Nope
Slept together with the opposite sex w/o actually having sex?: Hehe...what is this question supposed to mean??
Slept all day?: Nope
Made out with a stranger?: hehe... i knew his name!! LOL just kidding!
Kissed the same sex?: No
Broken the law?: Yes... like EVERY DAY! LOL
Told a secret you swore you wouldn't tell?: Yes
Bungee jumped?: No
Had a dream that kept coming back?: Yes
Astrology?: Yes
God?: Umm... no...not really
Luck?: Yes
Love at first sight?: Yes
Believe its possible to remain faithful forever?: HAHA... Nope!

Love and All That

Do you consider love a mistake?: Yeah
What do you find romantic?: Theres a lot of things...
Turn-on?: Face, height, hair, fingers ;-) (yes i did say fingers)
Turn-off?: arrogance, cockyness, boastfulness... get the idea?
First kiss?: loong time back
Are you in love?: Yes... beware though...lets not jump to conclusions...im in love with..... the possibilites are endless!

Right This Moment..

What are you wearing right now?: Jeans, tee (2), sweats.
Body part you're touching right now: neck
What are you worried about right now?: College
What book are you reading?: Story of O
What's on your mousepad?: Im using my lappie...
Use 5 words to describe how you're feeling: excieted, nervous, anxious, restless, content
Are you bored?: Yeah!
Are you tired?: Yeah... got an hr and a half sleep last night ;-)
Are you talking to anyone? Nope
Are you listening to music?: No

lol if u read all this... hmm okay...ur wierd...lol no just kidding..
im just not myself...haha

My Passion

2005-11-22T17:20:00.000-05:00

I made a new blog dedicated to all my art work...
Check out the LINK and lemme know what you'll think!

PAUSE Please

2005-11-09T17:09:00.000-05:00

Yeah I know I said I wouldn't update...
But right now.... I feel the intense need to screaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaammmmmmm
There are things piling and piling high and high and higher
Accounting test on Wednesday, GMAT on Thursday, Lots of homework (everyday), History Presentation on Thursday, and finals approaching closer and closer...
Now to all that ... add 35 guests over Saturday.... some of them living the whole weekend with us. (Celebrations for the new crib)
AND to all that...add a job interview tommorow.. Not just a job interview...an UNEXPECTED job interview..
I just found out at about noon that I have an interview scheduled tommorow morning at 9.
And no not that I didnt know.... those damn people approved my application just one day before the interview date...
So it was quick shopping for the professional outfit... they are super picky about appearances (so the plan is to show some skin LOL)
And now in between classes...trying to get as much info about the company so that I can look 'educated'
And yeah,... this is my first freaking on-campus interview..
SHIT ... great!
Life is good...
But a life with a pause button would be better...
Or as another blogger friend suggested... ever a fast forward button will work LOL

Fun Time

2005-11-06T03:34:00.000-05:00

Comment Anonymously

1. One secret
2. One compliment
3. One non-compliment
4. One love note
5. Lyrics to a song
6. How old you are
7. How long I have known you
8. And a hint to who you are

HAVE FUN! Update shall be up soon!

** UPDATE: okay so here is what I did and didnt accomplish...
~ cleaning my room: mostly yes. 2 more bags to go.
~ study GMAT every day: didnt happen...however I made it all up over the weekend.
~ 2 practice exams: took one! :-P
~ keeping up with homework: oh yeah! did that! LOL
~ 10 mins extra working out: NOPE! havnt worked out at all actually in the past few days. sigh.
~ resume update: yep, did that.
~ register for classes: done!

So... umm not where I want to be... but still chalta hai..lol
I had taken a loooot of pictures...but my digi-cam is f'ed up... need to buy a new memory card...so yeah will need to take pics again.
I drew this really really nice still life last night... shall have that on here once the memory card arrives.

And oh...don't expect updates until the 17th now... Wish my luck.. I got an accouting exam Monday and the GMAT on next Thursday.!!!!!!

This Week...

2005-10-31T12:03:00.000-05:00

Test in Accounting class ... on a Monday morning... means a great start to the week! LOL
And I mean it literally!
Cause since the test is out of the picture now... and since I dont have coming up this week...it means that I can get another chance at catching up with stuff..
Sleep has officially become a foreign thing... My sleep pattern is non-existant cause I go to sleep randomly, wake up in the midddle of the night (also randomly) and go back to sleep again randomly.
It's so good to be not rotating my life around sleep! LOL

So here's the plan for the week..no actually lemme call them rules...so that way I will HAVE TO do it...
~ Clean out my room...from one side to another.. and get rid of all the bags and boxes.
~ Study atleast 30 mins for GMAT every day.
~ Take 2 practice GMATs over the weekend.
~ Study for college stuff and keep up with homework.
~ Work out 10 mins more every day than what I already do.
~ Update and send in my resume to couple of employers on campus.
~ Get registered for classes.

Hmm... I think this will be enough.!!!

Good lucks going out to all that are studying for exams and stuff... who ever I turn to of lately seems to be preparing for it..
It's good to know that you are not the only one!

An Appropriate Start

2005-10-29T09:33:00.000-04:00

I know this is so much calmer than my rediff blog... just in template though..
I will try my best to make this blog very juicy...
Hehehehe.. *evil*

So lets start with something that's kinda 'raunchy.'
I was surfing HBO yesterday and Gothika(Halle Berry) was on... and I watched the movie...
Okay not all of it, cause parts of the movie was scary!
So just muted thru those extreme moments...

No that's not the 'raunchy' part yet!
When I saw the title... I was reminded of the music video my Limp Bizkit called 'Behind Blue Eyes.'
Now, this I think is the hottest thing out there!
The video is kinda old... but it has this amazing lip lock scene that I could see clearly in my mind! (Yeah that good!)
And it's not just the lip locking... the song is nice too..
(Okay fine! It's just the kissing..happy? LOL)

So click HERE to check out video..
Go to the link.. and click on 'My Videos' and ENJOY! *The video quality isn't super great.. but it's still worth it!*

P.S. This should be the official way of kissing.. Kissing should not be done any other way... Okay,... yeah I think you'll get the clue..

P.S.2. Why 'raunchy' in quotes?? LOL This is only the beginning... it will only get hotter! :-P

Welcome To The New Place!

2005-10-28T00:47:00.000-04:00

Yeah new place... I actually did it cause I just fell in love with this template when I came across it on Anki's blog.
The original plan was to make changes in it to make it fit the rediff blog.
But if I have the template completely ready head to toe...I thought creating a new link of blogger wouldn't be much of a big deal.
So here we are!
:-D
I think the main reason for the change was mainly to do with the colors on the other blog.. to me something just wasn't fitting together.

It's amazing how the face here uses all the lights, shadows, contour lines... Would make a beautiful drawing! (Let's keep that thought on a hold for some time!)

For now..
Cheers to a new beginning!