Thursday, August 16, 2007

Weirdness Returns

Yes....it is back to being strange and weird....
Not just with one thing in particular....just everything on a whole...
Tom is busy with things at his end...and we haven't talked in a while....
And no it's not like we haven't talked at all..... we do talk...but a few minutes here and there.... but I am used to spending hours and hours talking to him....
Oh well...I better get used to the not talking....he stars work...and with his night work schedule and the 3 hr time difference we will go on our 'weekend schedule'....where we will probably get time to talk only on the weekend!
So yeah...good times eh!?!?!

Then in the past few days a friend at work has gotten into some legal crap.... and I am so worried about him.
And he didn't even do anything wrong... just a bunch of guys being stupid but he didn't do anything wrong...but isn't opening his mouth.... just as a way to protect his friend.
I wasn't even sure if there were people like that who really existed any more...
Anyways....so that's on my mind....

I am no fun when I have several things on my mind....
And then speaking of work...this one guy I am supposed to do the accounting for has been really been getting on my last nerves...his work is such a shit load...and if I find some shit myself (and doing my job) he seems to hate me more....
It stinks when we feel so much negativity from one person towards you....I could give examples to make a point but he has really tested my patience and tolerance in the past few months....
I HATE his guts....I really do
Oh well... if this keeps going on I said to myself I would be asked to be moved to another group. I wouldn't 'give up' and pass on this if it wasn't affecting me this way.... I always said that I wanted to do something that I can just leave behind when I go home... but this whole situation with him just makes me very mad.
Whatever....feels good to just talk abt this shit....

And then I have this new thing bothering me today....
My ex contacted me today....the one that I thought I was madly in love with.... I never had my peace with the way things ended.... there was no explanation...no conversation... it just happened... It was weird.... I was ignored...lol
And it was worse cause I was led on to believe there was something serious between us....
He talked to me abt marriage... he brought it up! Now that is just weird... why would a guy do that if he didn't care.... or maybe he was a big time player and it was just a big game for him.....
I would like to just know why...or what...or if it was ever real....
I just wanna finally put it behind me....His good friend is also a very good friend of mine... And it would be nice to just go to being friends...and not have it so that H (our common friend) can't mention A (my ex) without it being weird for me...
Anyways...he contacted me on Orkut (where I am met such long lost friends...love that site!) and then emailed me.... asking for my phone number...and i just ignored that at first....didnt think us exchanging phone numbers is a good idea...but then he asked 2 more times...and I didn't want him to think im not over him...so I just gave it to him.... Am I over him? Yes... I don't really have feelings for him any more... I don't regret anything that happened...but I just want to know what happened....what caused the movement from the perception of being in love to being completely deserted....Or if there was some reason and/or explanation to it....Don't think it's too much to ask for...
And I don't know if that will be answered or not....it's just been so damn long....Last time I saw him was like 5-6 years back....Maybe things are better left unanswered....



I wouldn't think I would ever be in contact with him again....
I remember him.... I wonder what he might look like now....
Why?
Feelings are just messed up sometimes....





Update...
did this stupid palm reading thing online...look at wat it said...


"A palmist would say that you will be married multiple times or have several committed relationships that do not lead to marriage. It will be up to you at some point to make a decision that will either drive you toward or away from each of these relationships. A palmist would say that you will have the opportunity to have at least one child, probably including a girl. The decision to embrace this opportunity to bring children into your life is yours."


haha thats too funny. married multiple times...great!!


link here

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Missing Him Again

I have tried to write just the perfect post to write about Tom's visit, but it's hard to find the right words.

His trip was just so wonderful..... We get to spend most our time together across the computer screen ... and being together - really physically being together, means so much!

We weren't sure about how it would go....we hadn't spend all this time together before...and we were just hoping everything would work out ok. And it was more than just okay.... it was just perfect.

We got to do so many things together....
We did some local site seeing, we went to the movies, we went up to the mountains for a little visit, and in all we got to send a lot of time together!

The mountain trip was just wonderful.... we visited the Great Smoky National Park and drove through the Blue Ridge Parkway.
The view was just wonderful....
I am attaching some pics he took....



These are close to the highest point in the Smoky Mountains.




And here is a little view of the sunset.... we drove past this other place that had a much better view... but I think this pic is good too.


When we were not visiting places we just spent time with each others... it was great to be able to just hold him and hug him. He is just such a cute teddy bear! lol
Going to the movies with him was very fun and special too.

Apart from traveling and site seeing we also spent a lot of quiet time...This one day we went to a lake near where I live and spend some alone time just talking....
We talked about so many different things.... from the future....to our interests...to things we both enjoy doing....

It was great that we almost always had things to say ... in a few ways maybe we didn't know what to expect....

The things I say here probably sound redundant... but I can't say enough what a wonderful time it was.
I love him so so much.... And I am so lucky to have him in my life....he takes care of me...he looks out for me... he treats me like a gem and makes me feel so special and beautiful.
Obviously, I am one lucky girl...!!!

I miss him so much now.... I sobbed when I had to say goodbye... it was a lot lot harder than last time....

I still miss him being around the house.... I miss sharing my bed with him...I miss waking up to him by my side...I miss making breakfast for him...and so many more things....
I just miss starting and ending the day with him...

This whole thing has just made our relationship so much stronger and just so solid and REAL.
Hopefully next time I see him will be my going to CA! But that's still a little while away!

Everything was just right....It's great to feel completely in love!

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

20 hrs .....

about 20 more hours to go....
million things left to do.....


I am soooooooo happy!!! and excieted!!! YAAAAY!
okay.... i gotta go and get some work done....

cya guys!!!

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

9 More Days

Yes...In 9 days I should be sharing this couch that I am sitting on with my dearest!

The days have been nearing so quick...work has been so busy I have had no time to think about things.
He will be here before I know it....so I am EXCITED!!

I don't have much to say....just am eager and anxious.

:-)

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Another Year Older....

Blah.... I hate birthdays... All you do is eat and drink more than usual and it usually isn't even worth it!!
BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH....

23....which is still really young.... and I kinda wish I was older.... but I should be out parting and getting wasted...and not home watching TV.


I know you wish you could be me!!

Whatever....good thing the weekends almost here....get to chill with family and friends!

Happy Birthday to me.

Thursday, May 31, 2007

More Drawings!!




YAAAAY ... More drawings....

LOL... This time I just came home early from work and was like...what the heck...

This picture is horrible.. Lost my camera at this wedding we went to few weeks back...so I used my webcam to capture this image...
Comment please!!!

I already got a suggestion on this pic from my darling....he said that this girl should have longer hair!
He is nut about long hair!! haha...
So that will be changes to come...He wants her hair to be all the way down to her ass....

So...I might just do that...afterall....he makes the rules!!
(If you don't know what I am talking about....look at my post from 7/28/06).



Sorry about the template.... I didn't wanna change it but seems like it is this new blogger crap...
Oh well...So I lost all my links...
I just updated to one of their default ones without copy pasting the links..dumbass move....

So if you are gonna leave a comment...please make sure to add your website!!!

Thanks!
Have a good weekend!!!


P.S. This image came about by looking at the image HERE
I am not a point where I can draw without having something to look at!!


UPDATE....
Notes so far on possible changes.....


Saturday, May 26, 2007

Kiss



This picture deserves two things right now...
(1) a few more visits to make some changes to it....I see flaws/room for improvement
(besides a drawing is NEVER perfect)
(2) A poem made specially for this picture.... this should be enough of an inspiration for some sensual lines!


I should be drawing more couples in the heat!! Maybe next time a lil provocative!! ;-)