Friday, July 28, 2006

know the REAL me



Yeah....you've been warned!! The things I am about to say are definately going to be huge... Some of you reading may or may not know about it... and about it being a part of my life, but reading it here will definately be shocking..


This is my chance to come out and open up about the real me. I have thought about telling more about me on here...
And I have been thinking about doing this post for about 2-3 weeks now.
And finally here it is!!

There is so much to say.... and I am not even sure where to start...

I will begin with saying why I am doing this.
This is my way of finding out who my 'real friends' are...
For me this blog has always been an expression of my true self.
I never cared about people telling me how often I changed my template, I dont think I have ever said something I did not mean.... it was never a popularity contest for me.
The bottom line... I am who I am.
I sent messages to people on my messenger list to come read this...because I do want everyone to read this.
Well, not all will. Once some of you read some of what I have to say... you might think I am insane and stupid and stop reading.
I only ask for one thing....for all that are reading at this point...to please leave a comment and tell me what your honest opinion is.
I am going to start comment moderation... So just leave a comment like it is for me. And only me. And please be honest. If you hate me...please say so.
I really dont like fake drama...so I really do not like fake 'friendships'.
At the end of your comment, tell me if you want me to put up your comment on the blog or not. And I will do just as you wish for me to. I respect your opinion and decision, no matter what it is.
Just be very honest and speak your mind.
I know there are a few people here that are still going to think of me the same regardless... and to those.... a thank you is not enough.

Allrite... So I think that covers that...

Okay if knowing what I am talking about is killing you....PATIENCE!! Im almost there!! LOL
BTW...the template is a hint!!


Recently I was talking to a friend who knows about this 'secret' and he told me that I was just crazy (not his words). That is just what drove me to write on here..

I dont need to do it... and honestly there is no real strong reason to do this...
But I do this for me...
And again...most, if not all of you'll , wont understand why I do this..
I do this for me... and for being true to myself and my blog.
This is really private information... and if you rather not know... just stop reading...
but do comment!!

Okay...it's time....
drumroll please??!!?! lol

I am a Submissive.
Keep reading to understand...
Most relationships are vanilla, but the relationship I have with my 'partner' falls under the BDSM lifestyle.
What is it? Read the link to see and understand.

But for me.... it is who I am.
In a very breif explanation... it is about the control. (for me)
There is a lot of variety to BDSM and it's just about different preferences.

For me...it's about letting Him be in control...
and no...thats not some kinda kink you take to bed... it's about things that extends waaay beyond the bedroom!
It's about obedience, respect, trust, testing your limits, punishment and pain!! (last but not the least ofcourse! )


You all have to understand how much balls it is to keep talking about this...and I have already considered deleting this post a few times... lol

I met Tom about 10 months back...
He is my boyfriend....my Master...
He is much older than me....how old? Maybe we will talk about that stuff in another post! lol
I love him for who he is...

Our relationship is very salt-n-pepper-ish.

The pepper is all the spice associated with the lifestyle. The salt...the vanilla stuff.
We have a lot of vanilla-ish days....but with the always there hints of pepper here n there.
The hints of pepper....thats where the obedience and respect comes in place!

So anyways...

Now that you know what the 'secret' is....
Back to what I am writing for..

Like I said before I was driven to write about this when I was called to be crazy.
That was his reaction to the information about the lifestyle in general...
And that just wasnt cool.

I understand that BDSM is far from what society has called 'normal.'

To get my point across...let me give you another example.
For those in India... Americans have an accent. When I moved here, I had a hard time trying to understand that accent!
For those in America... Indians have an accent. When they call companies that have offices and call centers in India, they have a hard time understanding the person on the other end.
To Americans their way of talking is 'normal' and the same for Indians.

Now .... are you willing to change your 'accent' and talk like they do? Are you willing to spell color/colour as color just because they do?
Most importantly... are you willing to accept that their way of talking is the RIGHT way??

What is right?
That is just a personal opinion...especially when there is no real right or wrong.

So I was called crazy for actually being serious about the lifestyle and giving it more importance than something that happens in the bedroom.

Once you know more about it...if you choose to... you will understand that friend's part in calling it 'weird'
I understand why people respond to the lifestyle like that.
Its different....very different.
but what I do is my business.
I am not walking around saying that everyone should pick either a submissive or Dominant role and be a part of the lifestyle.
And likewise... I would respect others not to do so either.

What is normal...what is right... I think is one's choice...
and it should be nothing but it..

I really dont care about what people think of me..
I wouldnt have done this post if I did...
I believe in honesty and like I said,... fakeness just drives me insane.


So there you have it..
I have said what I wanted to

I have tried to stay away from providing specifics that would just be too much information!
And Im sorry if I said things you didnt want to hear...

Anyways, I am running out of things to say!
So please do comment!
Thanks!

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

Bhumi, I like you for what you are, impulsive, frank. I like that in a person. To me, you are a friend, and nothing else really matters.
I haven't been to regular at commenting on blogs, but yes, I do want you to put this up.

GalNextDoor said...

@anjan. lol. yeah im not at all surprised. i love u too! hugs

@ace. thank you so much....for liking me the way i am. thanks for commenting! HUGS!

Anonymous said...

Frankly, I hate people advising me, so i dont advise others too much either (Sometimes i do, for that is the easiest thing to do LOL)...anyways, what u do at home, in closed doors, or with ur pvt friend/s is ur business...it doesnt matter to me :)

But yeah (and here topples the advices) , if u feel guilty, dont do it.

If u dont feel guilty , continue and dont bother what others say. Kuchh toh log kahenge, logon ka kaam hai kahna...aur kahte hi log bhool bhi jaayenge ... so why bother about such people!

Regs, DJ

GalNextDoor said...

@dj. about feeling guilty..i dont feel one bit of guilt of any sort in doing what i do.
and about the people that say things... it just bothers me cause they dont mind their business. this is sort of my way of getting the word out about things that people might or might not know about.

GalNextDoor said...

@prasad. i am so glad u commented! and welcome to my lil world! and this lifestyle in NO WAY makes me lose any self respect. this is something that really completes me and who i am. i am proud of who i am and what this lifestyle has made me into. thanks for commenting again!

Whats In A Name said...

Oh common...
No one can judge you and nor can you judge anyone. We aint got the rights okk..
We are born as individuals and so should we be.. If all were alike then the world would be a dull place to live in..
:-)

Anonymous said...

hopped onto ur blog thru manish's blog and must say offlate i haven't seen someone speaking their heart so truely...every life is of it's own and it has a right to be lived and expressed the way it's lived...

this is something which i wrote for my ex-gf when she asked me to describe her - 'u r u and 'll remain u....ppl love u for u r u..ppl hate u for u r u...but then after reading this ppl think that u live ur life just for urself..they dont know u'

this is my 1st visit here..n i promise to hop back here regularly henceforth...blogrolling ya ....

tc..keep smiling..n keep blogging :)

Baliga said...

im reading ur blog after a long time.. and the honesty amazes me. im serious.. u are absolutely right.. its ur life, live it the way u want to.. and i have always believed that right and wrong is jus a matter of perspective.. and i respect honesty above fake niceness anyday.. like said before.. very honest post..

GalNextDoor said...

@new cloud. you are absolutely right. there are always people that judge... but then i guess we just have to ignore them! thanks for ur words!

@saikat. those were just amazing and very thoughing words. and i completely agree. thank you! will stop by ur blog soon. take care!

@baliga. its good to see u back here! adn what u said is so sweet! thank you! im so glad i have people that support me, understadn me, and not judge me!

Anonymous said...

honesty.., thy friend is Shreyas..!!

seriously.. ur life is ur business.. and coming out in bold about ur preferences sure takes some strong guts..!!

way to go bhumi-ya..!!

((kinda surprised to see not many femmes commentin gon this..!!)) maybe the indian psyche sure has a long way to go to accept individual choices beyond social domains..!!))

GalNextDoor said...

@clueless. thank you shreyas!! lol
and honestly... i accept all the comments i get with open arms...if ppl chose not to comment... hey i dont care! this really is my test to ssee who my 'friends' are! thanks for commenting!

Anonymous said...

Ah i guess i missed out on this post...but seriously bhu...love ya for the way you are. Its totally ur choice when it comes to making decisions regarding your life and what u think is right. I know ppl advise a lot (sometimes i do too) but then do what u think is right! thats important...coz we end up not living the way we want to coz some freaking ppl will think in a particular manner (tell them to go take a hike!!!) as for being ur frnd, dunno what u think...but whenever u need 1...ill be there! love ya stay the same!

Anonymous said...

Heylo!
Firstly its been a long long time since i have been to ur blog( or to many of the blogs,for tat matter)......long time since i scrapped a hi or a left an offline.....
well, came here today n read thru all d posts.....am commenting here coz of ur request n coz i felt i shud.

u remember wen u first told me abt bdsm?! it was on yahoo and i hadnt replied for sometime....u thot i had decided smthg was majorly wrong with u or smthg....while infact i had just left d desk for sometime :)

i dont remember wat exactly i told u then....but in reply to ur question here......its a lifestyle, its a choice....ur choice!

n abt true friends.....they r rare to find but from d prev comments seems like u have got quite a few....

hugs bhumi...
TC n have fun
PS: have no probs ur choosin to post this comment or not

Pranay said...

Hey bhumi. First time visiting ur blog. Fascinated by the post and thought I should comment.
First of all considering the amount of contemplation you had to undergo for opening up, I compliment you on your guts. Respect you for that.
Everything's has already been said.
Everyone has the right to think about their lifestyle and if yours is not hurting yourself or any one else than it's nobody's problem.
Secondly, I don't exactly know the boundaries of being submissive, but don't give up your freedom and independence for anyone. Don't depend on anyone so much emotionally or otherwise that it's tough to live alone. Be aware of your rights as a partner.
And ofcourse no one's more important than yourself. remeber that.
" Maybe I loved you so much 'coz I loved myself so little"
-salt water blues
If all these conditions are fulfilled. Then go on girl enjoy ur life. Hope u have a wonderful life.

Anonymous said...

Hey Bhumi, remember me...Harish here...stopped blogging sometime back...but do check a few blogs at times when i get the time...Hey must tell u that it takes guts to what u wrote in this post. Anyways friends are friends no matter what...take care...do mail me if u get the time...ye cheers...harish.kotian@gmail.com